MORE SILLINESS AT THE EXPENSE OF MMPR:TM
by Joe Rovang
 

Note:  J. Montgomery (jmontgom@suffolk.lib.ny.us) posted a MMPR:TM parody shortly
before I'd finished mine.  Either I never knew or simply forgot that he was doing one.  Oh
well.  Whatever the case, I decided to finish mine before allowing myself to read his.
Therefore, any similarities between the parodies are simply due to the weakness of the
movie, not any form of plagiarism.  :)


DULCEA (reading intro as it scrolls through a space background):  Centuries ago, a
legendary interdimensional being known as ZORDON came to the City of Angel Grove
to establish a command center for his never-ending struggle against evil.  Of course, he
didn't have a body, so he didn't actually come to Angel Grove - he just had a receiver set
up there.

With the aid of his rusted assistant, Alpha 5, the noble master sought out five
extraordinary teenagers, swapped out three, and added one, and gave them the power to
transform into a superhuman fighting force.  In time of great need, the young heroes
could use their powers to call upon colossal assault vehicles known as ZORDS.  In time
of lesser need, they could drive around in go-carts.

The identity of the six remained a guarded secret.  Today, that tradition continues, thanks
to the utter stupidity of the population of Angel Grove...

[Title: _Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie Parody_.  Title explodes, revealing
a plane flying.  Cut to interior of plane.]

[Rocky watches the "no skydiving" light go out.]

ROCKY:  Woohoo!  Come on, we're outta here!

KIM (chuckling):  Easy, Rocky.

ROCKY:  I suuuuure am.

TOMMY:  All right, guys, we're fifteen seconds from the drop zone, if you count very
slowly.

[Rangers cheer and whoop.]

BULK:  All right, pinheads, the Stealth Eagle is about to plummet.

SKULL:  Ditto for the Swooping Swallow!

AISHA (motioning toward door):  Well, then, go ahead and leap right out of the plane.

[The Rangers chuckle, knowing that Bulk and Skull don't have parachutes and will fall to
their deaths.  Bulk and Skull open the door and peer out.]

SKULL:  That's a lotta greenscreen!

BULK:  After you, Skull!

SKULL:  What are you, crazy?!  This was your idea!  Something about wanting to make
an impression on the babes...?

[The Rangers laugh, knowing the only thing Bulk and Skull will make an impression on
is the ground.]

KIM:  Hey guys!

[Bulk and Skull look back.]

KIM (pointing to two parachutes):  You might wanna slip those on...?

AISHA (sighing):  Aw, thanks a lot, Kim!

BILLY (looking at his watch):  All right, guys, we're three extremely long seconds away
from the target zone.

TOMMY:  Aisha, you're on.

AISHA (preparing to jump):  Yes!  (leaps out and screams something unintelligible)

ADAM (leaping out):  On your taaaail!  (whoops)

BILLY (leaping out):  Just like in Pilotwinnnnnggggs!

ROCKY (leaping out):  Banzaaaaai!  (whoops)

KIM (gazing into Tommy's eyes and touching his arm):  Show 'em your stuff.

TOMMY (unzipping his fly):  Well, all right...

[Kim sighs and shoves Tommy out of the plane.]

KIM (turning around and giving Bulk and Skull a thumbs-up as she utters the first of
many equally unimpressive catch phrases):  Catch ya on the flip side!  (backflips out of
the plane)

[Rangers fall through the air, whooping, and go to link up into a human circle.  But
instead, they accidentally end up smashing their heads together painfully.]

TOMMY:  All right, guys, let's break!

[Rangers split up and release their parachutes.]

---

[Down below, a crowd awaits the arrival of the skydivers.]

ANNOUNCER:  With the arrival of Ryan's Comet just two days away - I repeat, just two
days away - the Angel Grove Jump-A-Thon will breathe new life into the old
observatory!  Tickets to see the the comet are available at the fire department booth.
Those of you without tickets will not be allowed to look at the sky when the comet flies
by.  And now here comes the Power Rangers!  No, wait, it's the team from Angel Grove!
...High School, that is.  Of course this isn't the only team from Angel Grove.  Sorry for
the confusion.

[Crowd cheers.  In the crowd, a boy, Fred Kelman, turns to his father.]

FRED:  All right, idiot, pay close attention.  This is how the pros do it.

MR. KELMAN:  Hey, I didn't do so bad.

FRED:  You landed in the parking lot.  It was embarrassing!  I wish you were dead, you
moron!

MR. KELMAN (smiling):  Well...

ANNOUNCER:  The first of the team is beginning his final approach!  (Adam swoops
in.)  It's Adam!  As he rounds the turn, he looks a little...

[Adam smashes into the earth too early, but his limp body bounces through the air and
lands right on the target.]

ANNOUNCER:  ...And he hits the target dead-center!  (Billy swoops in.)  And here
comes Skydiver Billy!

[A Bandai truck pulls up and distributes Skydiver Billy action figures, with real flailing
action!]

ANNOUNCER (as Billy hits the target, kicking Adam aside):  He manages a perfect
landing!  (Kim swoops in.)  Skydiver number three is Kimberly!  (Kim hits the target.)
Her landing is flawless, just like her a--  (Rocky swoops in.)  ...And here comes Rocky!
(Rocky hits the target.)  ...who lands right on target, despite his utter lack of coordination!
(Aisha swoops in.)  And here comes Aisha!  (Aisha hits the target.)  She makes it a
perfect five-out-of-five landing!  That ties it up with the city's record, and now it's all up
to Tommy Oliver, Farcus Bulkmeier, and Eugene Skullovitch!

FRED (shrieking, raising his fist into the air):  Yeah, go Tommy!

[Fred's screaming distracts Tommy, causing him to veer off-course and smash into the
ground several hundred feet from the target.]

ANNOUNCER:  And there goes any hope for a new record!  But what do you expect
from a bunch of teenagers - a perfect score?  And besides, with Farcus and Eugene
nowhere to be seen, the Angel Grove team is disqualified anyway!

[Fred and Mr. Kelman rush over to Tommy as he brushes himself off and undoes his
parachute.]

ANNOUNCER (in the background):  Ryan's Comet will be passing in just two days.
Repeat, Ryan's Comet will be passing in two days!  Two days from now, Ryan's Comet
will pass by!

FRED (to Tommy):  Lookin' good up there.  Up until you crashed, that is.

TOMMY:  Yeah, right.  Why don't you go jump out a plane?

FRED:  Really?  (to Mr. Kelman)  Could I go parachuting?

TOMMY:  Who said anything about a parachute?

[The other Rangers walk up.]

KIM:  Guys, we did it!

BILLY:  Well, Tommy really screwed up, but at least the rest of us made perfect
landings.

TOMMY:  Yeah, good for you.

BILLY (looking up):  Hey, has anybody seen Bulk and Skull?  Those idiots got us
disqualified.

AISHA:  Ernie's is serving a free dessert with lunch.  They probably landed on the roof.
Either that, or they splattered themselves on the ground somewhere in Angel Grove.

[All laugh.]

---

[The plane still flying.]

PILOT:  You guys better hurry up and jump.  We're running outta fuel, and I think
someone put a sleeping potion in my soda.

BULK (strapping on parachute):  I gotta be the Eagle.  I'm gonna be the Eagle.

SKULL (doing the same):  Be the Swallow.  Be the Swallow.

BULK:  Come on, baby!

[Skull has barely strapped on his parachute and has failed to fasten his helmet when they
both leap out of the plane screaming.]

BULK (shouting):  Hey, hey, let go of me!

SKULL (screaming):  We're gonna die!

BULK:  You pinhead, I'm sure the Power Rangers are watching the Jump-A-Thon to
make sure no one gets hurt.  They're probably very concerned about us right now.

SKULL:  Hey, yeah!

---

[The Rangers rollerblade through the park, whooping all the way.]

TOMMY:  Rock n' roll!  Ha ha!

[Billy and Aisha give each other high fives.]

[The Rangers jump over something, with Billy jumping first yet miraculously landing
third.]

TOMMY:  Air time!

KIM:  Up and away!

[The Rangers' stunt doubles then skate down a flight of steps.]

TOMMY:  Hey, let's take a shortcut!

KIM:  Right behind ya!

ADAM:  Isn't that kinda dange--

TOMMY:  Wahoo!

[The Rangers rollerblade through a busy construction site, whooping as they go.]

[The camera pans to Bulk and Skull, who drift down into the site, with Skull clinging on
to Bulk.  A worker, Dave, spots them as they land.]

DAVE:  Hey!

BULK:  Uh oh.

DAVE:  You guys, what do you think you're doing?  Rollerblading through here is one
thing, but there's no landing allowed!

BULK:  Uh... we're from the... Angel Grove Building Inspector's office.

SKULL:  Yeah!  (pointing one direction, then another)  And that building's supposed to
be over there!

DAVE:  Duh, really?

BULK:  Yeah!  And what's that man over there doing without proper foot protection?

SKULL:  Who's in charge around here?  Huh?

BULK:  Huh??

DAVE:  Haim Sa--

WORKER (in the distance, barefoot):  Hey, Dave, come and have a look at this!

SKULL (nodding, motioning toward the second worker):  Go on, Dave.

[Dave walks off.]

SKULL:  Heh, that was a close one.

BULK:  Uh huh.

SKULL:  You hungry?  I hear Ernie rebuilt the Youth Center as a massive complex in
Australia.

BULK:  Heh, always!

---

[Nearby, a large group of workers is crowded around a circular plate in the ground
bearing a creature's face.]

WORKER1:  What in the world is this?

WORKER2:  Looks like an ancient marker to the prison of a morphological being.

WORKER1:  Better open it.  Let's get a crane in here.

[The Crane Zord screeches as it flies overhead.  It releases several chains, which the
workers fasten to the plate.]

WORKER2 (yelling):  Okay, take it up!

[The Crane removes the metal plate, revealing a hole in the ground, out of which pours a
great deal of mist.  Slowly a large metal claw emerges from the opening, holding a huge
purple egg.]

WORKER3:  Incredible.  What do you think it is?

WORKER2 (approaching the egg):  Nooo idea.  But I'm sure touching it will help.

[Worker2 extends his hand to touch the egg.  Purple electricity crackles from the egg and
flings the yelling worker back through the air.  The workers rush over to the fallen
worker.]

WORKER1:  John, you all right?

WORKER2:  My back!  Aw, man, I'm so stupid!

---

[The Rangers rollerblade down a walkway toward Ernie's.]

ROCKY:  Hey, guys, let's get something to eat!

[A communicator chimes.]

TOMMY (as the Rangers stop):  Hang on, guys.  (points)  Let's go over there to that big
open spot.

[The Rangers skate over to a side area.]

TOMMY (into his communicator):  What's up, Alpha?

ALPHA (over communicator):  Rangers, Zordon needs you at the Command Center, even
though telling you over the communicator would be much quicker.

TOMMY:  We're on our way.

[The Rangers touch their communicators and teleport.]

---

[Alpha paces through the Command Center.  The Rangers teleport in.]

TOMMY:  Alpha, what's going on?

ALPHA:  Rangers, sensors show something has drained your personalities and turned you
into mindless drones who do nothing but spew out idiotic one-liners!

KIM:  Gotta love it!

[Zordon appears in his tube.]

ZORDON:  Rangers, you must act swifty.  The planet is in grave danger.

KIM:  We know that it's urgent, Zordon, but could you waste a few minutes on a detailed
exposition?

ZORDON:  Sure.  Six thousand years ago, a morphological being known as Ivan Ooze
ruled the world with a reign of unparalleled terror.  He was on the verge of completing
construction of his ultimate weapons:  the Ectomorphicon Titans - twin machines capable
of enslaving the entire universe.

AISHA:  Must be big machines.

ROCKY (to Zordon):  What happened to him?

ZORDON:  A group of young warriors like yourselves lured him into a hyperlock
chamber with some ice cream and buried him deep underground.  But now the chamber
has been accidentally uncovered, wearing the "accidentally unleashed" motif a little thin.
You must spend the afternoon here, then go and return the chamber to the depths before
it is opened and Ivan is released.

ALPHA:  His Ectomorphicons were buried near the chamber.  If Ivan escapes, he's sure
to find them.

BILLY:  Whose brilliant idea was it to bury them right next to his chamber?

ZORDON (ignoring Billy):  Use extreme caution, Rangers.  You are dealing with an evil
here that is beyond all imagination, except for the imagination of the writers.

---

[Nighttime at the construction site.  Two guards, one asleep, protect the egg.  Suddenly,
Zedd, Rita, Goldar, and Mordant appear.]

RITA:  What do I care about some stupid egg?

ZEDD:  This is no ordinary egg.  It's a very big egg.

RITA:  Well I say we hard-boil that thing!

MORDANT:  I'm with her; I'm hungry.  (snorts)

GOLDAR (slapping Mordant's chest):  Who's this loser?

MORDANT (sadly):  My explanation got lost in one of the script revisions.

GUARD1 (to guard2):  Hey, hey, hey, Curly, Curly!  Take a look at this!

ZEDD:  No need to wake him.  In fact, why don't you take a little nap yourself?

GUARD1:  Oh, okay.  (lies down and goes to sleep)

ZEDD (to egg):  Ah, after two thousand years of whining and three minutes of searching,
you are finally within my grasp!  And now, let's crack this egg!  (touches his glowing
staff to the egg, causing the metal talons to release their grasp)

ZEDD:  Ahh...

[The upper half of the egg splits down the middle, revealing a glowing purple substance.
Rita twirls her finger in the substance, which has a gooey texture, then looks at her
finger.]

RITA:  What?  You spent two thousand years looking for a tub of snot?!  (flicks ooze
from her finger)

ZEDD:  Yes.  Mucus sells for quite a killing on some planets.

[The ooze begins to rise from the egg.  The ooze then coalesces into Ivan Ooze.]

IVAN (upon cracking his neck twice):  Ladies and gentlemen, the ooze is back!

ZEDD:  Aw, man, my snot's defective.

RITA:  He's so handsome.

IVAN (smiling):  Why thank you.

RITA:  No, I was talking about that security guard.

ZEDD (to Ivan):  I am Lord Zedd, sworn enemy of all that is nice and cute.  Who the hell
are you?

IVAN:  I am the galactically-feared, globally...

ZEDD:  Cut to the chase.

IVAN:  They call me Ivan Ooze.

ZEDD:  Ah yes, Ivan Ooze.  Do you recall the name "Zordon of Eltar?"

[Ivan scowls, raises his arms into the air, and unleashes a fury of purple electricity from
his fingertips while roaring in anger.]

IVAN (suddenly calm):  Zordon who?

ZEDD:  I want you to destroy Zordon, so that my evil may once again reign supreme!

IVAN:  I will not only destroy him;  I will obliterate his entire legacy.  It will be as if
Zordon of Eltar got written out!

RITA:  Finally.  A _real_ morphological being.

ZEDD:  We shall leave you to weave your evil ways and then doublecross us.  Let's go,
Rita.

[Zedd, Rita, Goldar, and Mordant teleport away.]

IVAN (upon sniffing the air):  What is that odious stench?  (inhales once more)  Smells
like... (growling)  ...air pollution.

---

[The Rangers teleport into the darkened construction site, with Billy materializing
upside-down.  Billy falls to the ground and then stands up.]

ROCKY:  Wow, it's nighttime already.  I didn't know we'd wasted _that_ much time in
the Command Center.

ADAM:  Maybe that last round of Monopoly was too much.

AISHA:  Anybody see anything?

TOMMY (pointing):  Let's take a look up there, where that giant opened egg is.

[The Rangers walk up to the egg and inspect it.]

GUARD1 (grabbing Tommy's shoulder):  Hey!

[The Rangers gasp and spin around to face him.]

GUARD1 (rubbing the back of his head):  What are you kids doing here?

TOMMY:  Power Rangers business.

KIM:  Um, you haven't by any chance seen a morphological being lurking around here...?

GUARD1:  A morphological being?

KIM:  Yeah.

GUARD1:  No, but I did see Ivan Ooze.  And he looked something like this!

[Guard1 morphs into Ivan.  Ivan chuckles.  The Rangers gasp and strike defensive
stances.]

KIM:  Ew, gross!

IVAN:  You're too kind.  Allow me to introduce myself.  I am the galactically-feared,
globally-reviled, universally-despised... They call me Ivan Ooze.

KIM:  They call me cute!

ROCKY (pointing at Ivan):  Well, pack your bags, 'cause it sucks to go on vacation
without any luggage!

IVAN:  Gee, a teenager with a big mouth.  Not much has changed in six thousand years.
Well, some has.  Okay, everything except for big-mouthed teenagers.

KIM:  You obviously don't know who you're dealing with, Mister Raisin-Head!

IVAN (shocked, looking into a hand mirror):  Really?  Am I that raisiny?

TOMMY (his declaration echoing through Angel Grove):  We're the Power Rangers!

IVAN:  Wooo!  Where's my autograph book?  (checks his pockets and produces his
autograph book)  Ah, here it is.  (opens it and holds it out to the Rangers)  Please...

[The Rangers take turns signing it.  Ivan then snaps the book shut and puts it away.]

IVAN:  So, Zordon's still using a bunch of kids to do his dirty work.  Well, meet my kids!
(whips out his wallet and shows the Rangers the photos of his children)

TOMMY:  Uh, we're supposed to do a fight scene here.

IVAN (putting his wallet away):  Oh, my mistake.  Meet my kids!  (raises arms and
summons a crowd of Oozelets as his laughter echoes through the site)

KIM:  Ew.

IVAN:  From this moment forth, the world as you know it shall cease to exist, and one
much more yucky will begin to exist!  Welcome to my nightmare!  (roars with laughter)
Bye bye kiddies!  (teleports away, laughing)

ROCKY:  He's gone!

AISHA:  That explains why he's no longer standing there!

KIM (looking at the Oozelets, then at Tommy):  What are we gonna do?

TOMMY:  What the Power Rangers always do.  Beat the crap outta people!

[Rangers look down the cliff behind them.]

BILLY:  Looks like there's plenty of room down there.  Let's just hope we can survive the
thirty-foot drop.

TOMMY:  Go, guys!  Remember to speak only in witty one-liners!

[The Rangers jump down, Tommy going last after he gets in a few hits on an Oozelet.]

ADAM:  Let's take these beasts.

ROCKY:  Yeah, out to lunch!

[ADAM looks at ROCKY.]

ROCKY:  For some knuckle sandwiches!

TOMMY:  Spread out!

[The Rangers split up and the Oozelets jump down.  Tommy wields a shovel handle like
a bo staff.]

TOMMY:  Welcome to _my_ nightmare!

ROCKY:  Being naked at school...?

TOMMY:  No, that was figurative.  (bludgeons and kicks the Oozelets around him)

ADAM (stepping into a bucket while being chased by an Oozelet):  Ever play kick the
can?  (tries to kick the bucket at the Oozelet but realizes his foot is stuck)

[Adam hobbles over to the Oozelet and punches it in the stomach.]

AISHA (grabbing two Oozelets):  Kiss and make up!

OOZELET1:  But we weren't argu--

AISHA:  Shut up.  One-liners don't have to make sense!  (slams them together then flips
them both)

[The Rangers fight the Oozelets with impressive moves.]

ADAM (being chased again, hobbling with his foot still stuck in the bucket):  Let me get
the door!  (tries to slam the door of a construction machine in the Oozelet's face, but it's
locked)  Man!  (thinks quickly)  Why don't you kick the bucket?  (kicks the Oozelet in the
head with his bucket foot)

[Billy flips an Oozelet and then follows with a punch to the prone creature's chest.  He
inspects his ooze-covered knuckles.]

BILLY (smiling):  You ooze, you lose.  Ha!  Who said I couldn't do mindless one-liners?
(gets tackled)

[Kim flips over an Oozelet.]

KIM (kicking it onto a whoopee cushion):  Sit down!

[A crowd of Oozelets approaches her.]

KIM:  See ya!  (does a series of backward handsprings to retreat)

BILLY (doing the same):  Right behind you, Kimberly!  Of course, running would be
much quicker and easier, but this looks so much more impressive.

[Tommy gets kicked to the ground near a rock wall, and the others, except for Adam, join
him.]

KIM (to Tommy): Are you okay?

TOMMY:  Of course.  I'm a big, strong tough guy.

[Adam tries to run to join the others but trips over his bucket and ends up flying through
the air.  He ungracefully crashes to the ground near the others.]

AISHA:  Adam!

[Adam stands up as the Oozelets back them against the wall.]

AISHA:  They've got us cornered!

BILLY:  We can't hold 'em off!

[The Oozelets close in.]

BILLY (speaking loudly after clearing his throat):  There... are.. too... many... of... them!

TOMMY:  Duh, what?

KIM:  We need to morph, you idiot!

TOMMY (reaching behind back, finally getting the message):  It's morphin' time!

KIM:  Pterodactyl!  (holds out Morpher, turns into the Pink Ranger, and poses)

BILLY:  Triceratops!  (holds out Morpher, turns into Blue Ranger, and poses)

ROCKY:  Tyrannosaurus!  (holds out Morpher, turns into Red Ranger, and poses)

ADAM:  Mastodon!  (holds out Morpher, turns into Black Ranger, and poses after
kicking the bucket from his foot)

AISHA:  Sabertoothed Tiger!  (holds out Morpher, turns into Yellow Ranger, and poses)

TOMMY:  White Tiger!  (holds out Morpher, turns into White Ranger, and poses)

[All flip through the air while kiaiing but discover upon landing that the Oozelets are
gone.]

KIM:  Where'd they go?

TOMMY:  Eh, who cares?  We're safe.  Let's go get some pizza.

ROCKY:  No, wait!  There they are!

[The Rangers spot the Oozelets disappearing into a partially constructed building.]

TOMMY:  Oh.

---

[The Command Center.]

ZORDON:  Alpha, my sensors tell me the Rangers spent too much time playing
Monopoly.  Ivan is on his way here.

ALPHA:  Don't worry.  Nobody enters the Command Center without a Power Coin.

[Ooze begins to drip through the sliding metal doors.]

ALPHA:  Well, almost nobody.  I told you we should ooze-proof the doors, but what did
you do?  Install more neon lights!

[The ooze materializes into the snickering Ivan Ooze.]

IVAN:  Gee, pretty fancy-schmancy.  I guess if you invest your money well for sixty
centuries you can buy something pretty nice.

ZORDON:  Even nicer if you secretly divert global funds to your own account with your
cosmic powers.

[Alpha karate chops Ivan in the solar plexus, causing Ivan to burp.]

ALPHA (singing):  Uh oh, we're in trouble...

[Ivan chuckles and zaps Alpha.  Alpha staggers away repeating "Ay yi yi yi yi," his head
on backwards.]

ZORDON:  You haven't changed, Ooze.  You're still picking on robots named Alpha
Five.

IVAN:  Aw, put a sock in it, Z.  Ten minutes out of the egg and I'm already listening to
one of your lectures.  You locked me into your stuffy little hyperlock chamber and tossed
me away in the depths like yesterday's Saban employee!  And what's worse, you left the
muzak version of the Power Rangers theme playing in there for six thousand years!

ZORDON:  You won't get away with this, insert villain here!  I mean, Ooze.

IVAN:  I didn't even declare my evil plans yet!

ZORDON:  Oh.  Please continue.

IVAN:  You robbed me of my prime!  I was the supreme ruler of the most foul empire in
the universe!  And now, it's time to pay the piper.

ZORDON:  How's five grand?

IVAN:  No.  (pulls out a flute and plays a few notes)

[The roof is suddenly torn off by the Dragonzord, which tosses the roof aside and
lumbers into the Command Center.]

IVAN:  Oh, the things that I have missed!  The Black Plague!  (plays more notes, causing
the Dragonzord to shoot the control panel with its fingertip missiles)  The Spanish
Inquisition!  (plays more, causing the Dragonzord to demolish the neon lights with its
tail)  The prime-time airing of The Mutiny!  (plays once more, causing the Dragonzord to
rip out Zordon's tube and munch on it)

[Zordon groans.]

[The Dragonzord then goes back outside, puts the roof back on, and returns to the sea.]

---

[The Rangers search the darkened building for the Oozelets.]

ADAM:  This place gives me the creeps.

AISHA:  I heard that.

BILLY:  Proves you're not deaf.

KIM:  Anybody see anything?

TOMMY:  We need some light.

AISHA:  Activating Power Beam.  (helmet lights turn on)

TOMMY:  Nice gimmick, but I repeat, we need some light.  I've seen brighter light in a
watch display.

AISHA:  Sorry, that's all I've got.

[The Rangers continue searching.]

TOMMY:  They've gotta be around here somewhere.  Unless they're somewhere else.

ROCKY:  Activating Power Scope.  (scanner appears over his visor)

TOMMY:  Talk to me, Rocko.  What do we got?

ROCKY:  Uh, the readings are all over the place.  I don't know what these purple creeps
are made of, but my first guess would have to be ooze.

TOMMY:  All right.  Stay alert.

[Rocky's scanner begins beeping.]

ROCKY (pointing):  Over there, where those big ugly purple guys are standing!

TOMMY:  Let's power up!

BILLY:  But we're already...!

TOMMY:  Nevermind!

ALL:  Right!

[Oozelets swarm out from their hiding places.]

AISHA:  Here they come!  Back to one-liner mode!

[The Rangers begin fighting the Oozelets again.]

KIM (kicking an Oozelet repeatedly until it flies into the air):  You... guys... make... me...
sick... sick... sick!

ROCKY:  Okay, but remember to take off your helmet before you puke.  (looks up
thoughtfully)  I learned that lesson the hard way...

TOMMY (side kicking an Oozelet into the air):  Have a nice flight!  See ya next...  (stops
to think) ...flight!

[Two Oozelets rush Tommy from either side.]

TOMMY:  Later, dudes!  (spins into the air and lands on a platform above but
immediately falls off from dizziness)

[An Oozelet on the upper platform jumps down after Tommy but splatters on the ground
beside him.]

[Outside, Aisha splatters a second Oozelet by kicking it into a scaffold.]

AISHA:  It's gonna be one messy night filled with a lot of special effects!

[Nearby, Rocky and Adam are confronted by three Oozelets.]

ADAM:  Up and over?

ROCKY:  Yeah!  We're sure to fare better from the _other_ direction!

[They leap over the Oozelets and then continue fighting.]

ADAM:  Rocky, behind you!  Do a split instead of just turning around!

[Rocky ducks into a split.]

ADAM (leaping over him):  Goin' airborne!  (jump kicks an Oozelet)

[One Oozelet still stands.]

ROCKY:  These guys don't know when to quit!  Double whammy?  You're on!  I don't
have multiple personalities!  Yes you do!

[Rocky and Adam side kick their last Oozelet on either side of its head, squishing it with
a crappy cartoon effect.]

[Meanwhile, Billy gets thrown to a lower level by an Oozelet.]

BILLY (falling): Whoooooaaaa!  (hits a wall)  That does it.  (whips out his weapon)
Power Lance!  (looks at the small blue device in his hand)  What the heck is this?

BYRAN SPICER:  See, everything's been changed from the series, even the weapons.
You have a Stega Stinger now.

BILLY:  But my dinosaur is the Triceratops, not the Stegasaurus.

BRYAN SPICER:  Shut up and say your one-liners.

[The Stega Stinger fires a cable to the upper level, and Billy swings back up.]

BILLY (punching the Oozelet):  Did you miss me?  (shoves it off the platform, causing it
to splatter below)

[Outside, an Oozelet rushes toward Kim.]

KIM (whipping out her weapon):  Pterodactyl Thunder Whip!  (hits the Oozelet with the
whip, then wraps it around the leg of another)  Have a nice trip... (sends it crashing to the
ground with a fierce tug)  ...see ya next autumn!  (whipping another Oozelet in the chest)
Buh-bye!  (retracts the whip)  Just whip it!

[Tommy splatters another Oozelet with a flying bicycle kick, chattering like Liu Kang.]

[Back outside, two Oozelets kick Aisha into a wall.]

BILLY (swinging by his Stega Stinger):  Hold on, Aisha!  You're just a girl, and girls
require excessive saving in this movie!

BILLY (stomping on Oozelet heads as he swings by):  One, two, three, four, five, six!
(lands)  Aisha!  (handsprings over to her)  You okay?

AISHA (standing):  These guys are tough!

BILLY:  Don't worry, we're about to destroy them all at once with a cheap move.

[The others join Billy and Aisha.  The Oozelets approach the Rangers.]

TOMMY:  I want you guys to eat Saba!  (pulls out Saba)

SABA:  "Meet."

TOMMY:  I want you guys to eat meat!

[Saba sighs and flies around the crowd of Oozelets, then goes up to an enormous anvil
suspended from a cable.  Saba uses his eyebeams to break the cable, and the anvil falls.]

OOZELETS:  Uh oh!

[The anvil squishes the remaining Oozelets.]

ALL:  Yes!

TOMMY:  Now, let's go find Ivan!

[Suddenly, the Rangers' suits begin to dissolve.  Saba vanishes.]

KIM:  Guys, what's happening?

BILLY:  I don't know.  But if I had to guess, I'd wager we were losing power.

[The Rangers find themselves completely demorphed.]

KIM:  What's going on?

ROCKY:  We still don't know since you asked a few seconds ago.

BILLY (into his communicator):  Alpha, come in!

[There is no reply.]

AISHA:  Something's wrong.

TOMMY:  Good call, Aisha.  We'd better get back.  Let's go, guys.

[The Rangers run off.]

---

[The Command Center is smoking slightly.  The Rangers approach the metal sliding
doors, which are stained with ooze residue.]

ROCKY: Good thing we found a cab.

BILLY:  Oh no.  Ooze!

TOMMY:  Let's get it open.

[The six teenagers easily force the doors open, revealing the demolished Command
Center.  Kim shrieks.  The Rangers start to wander through the debris.]

AISHA:  What happened here?  I wonder if Ivan Ooze has any connection to all this
destruction and the ooze on the door.

KIM:  Oh no.  (runs to the front of the Command Center, followed by the others)

[The Rangers find Zordon, in a dying human form, lying in a bed of broken crystals,
wearing an oversized grey turtleneck sweater.]

ADAM:  Zordon!

AISHA:  What's happening to him?  Why's he have a body if he's just a transmission from
another dimension?

BILLY:  Uh, he's outside of his time warp.  He's dying.  He needs power.

ZORDON (weakly):  Rangers... so good to see the power drain didn't kill you...

TOMMY:  Can we get you something?  Some coffee?  A muffin?  The combined energy
of our Power Coins?

ZORDON:  I'm afraid that is impossible.  The Power has been destroyed.  It is gone - the
Zords, the weapons, the microwave... all of it.  The Power Rangers are no more.  Ivan
Ooze has won.  The movie is over.

BILLY:  We're losing him.

KIM:  Zordon, you can't leave us!  Ever since you came into our lives, you've been like a
father to us all.

ZORDON:  How do you know about that??

ALPHA (weakly):  Rangers...

TOMMY:  Alpha!

[The Rangers rush over to Alpha.]

ROCKY (to Zordon):  Ha ha, up yours, old man!  The robot's hurt!

TOMMY (to Alpha):  Are you okay?

ALPHA:  I'll be fine.  There may be a way to save Zordon.

ADAM:  What?  Some sort of power?

ALPHA:  It's not just power, it's Great Power!  It is on the distant planet of Phaedos.  It's
very dangerous.  All who have tried for it have perished.

ROCKY:  How many have tried for it?

ALPHA: Three.  Not many people know about it.  Anyway, the point is that no one's ever
survived.  But don't let that worry you.  I'm sure you'll do fine.

ROCKY:  Yeah, because we're the Pow--!

ALPHA:  Zordon's life force will not last long.  You won't have much time - only a few
days.

TOMMY:  How can we get it?

ALPHA:  Maybe if I can download the very last plasmatic morphing gem into the
transport core, I might have just enough power to get you there.  But... there won't be any
left to get you back once I use the last of it up watching TV on the Viewing Globe.

ROCKY:  So how _do_ we get back?

KIM (joining the others):  We have to hope that the Power's there.  Zordon's life and the
plot depend on it.

ALPHA (singing in his best Devo impersonation):  Are you ready?

TOMMY:  Sure.  No use gathering up survival gear.

[The Rangers form a circle in the middle of the Command Center.]

TOMMY:  We may not have our powers, but we're still the Power Rangers!

ALPHA:  Yeah, you keep telling yourself that, Tommy.  Now, remember, Zordon only
has a few days.  (pushes some buttons)

[The Rangers teleport, and the lights dim.]

ALPHA:  Oh no.  Ay yi yi yi yi.  Please hold on, Zordon.  At least until a couple minutes
before the Rangers beat Ivan.

---

[The Rangers streak away from the Earth and past Rita and Zedd's palace.]

RITA:  I can't believe it.  How could he let them slip through his hands?  He's no better
than the rest of the hired help around here!

ZEDD (unconcerned):  Eh, you heard Alpha.  No one's ever survived the quest to get the
Great Power.

[The main sliding door begins to open.]

ZEDD:  Huh?

IVAN (entering with a flourish):  Hi, honey!  I'm home!

RITA:  You egg-sucking purple pinhead!  All you've done is accomplish something in
minutes that Zedd and I couldn't do in two seasons!  (calming down)  Actually, that's not
too shabby...

IVAN:  Your feebleness is staggering.  You obviously need a vacation.

ZEDD:  That's not a bad idea.  I hear Aquitar is beautiful this time of year.  Let me just
pack a few ba--

IVAN (sitting in Zedd's throne):  The boogeyman is taking over.

GOLDAR:  He is??

[Goldar and Mordant run screaming from the chamber.]

IVAN:  I was talking about _me_.  I'm taking over.

GOLDAR (stopping):  Oh.

[Goldar and Mordant walk back to the middle of the chamber.]

ZEDD (growling):  No one doublecrosses Lord Zedd and lives, other than Vygon the
Doublecrosser!  (blasts Ivan with his staff)

IVAN (howling with light laughter):  Oh ho ho ho, stop it, it tickles!  (laughs)  My turn.
(produces a giant feather and tickles Rita and Zedd)

ZEDD (giggling):  Hee hee, we give up!

[Zedd and Rita trap themselves in a snow globe in Ivan's palm.]

[Ivan laughs.]

RITA (in chipmunk voice, to Zedd):  Way to go, bonehead.

ZEDD (in chipmunk voice):  Oh well.  Maybe we'll get great parts in the next movie.

IVAN (to Goldar and Mordant):  Now, you have a choice.  You either serve me, or you
can have your memories wiped and live with Bulk and Skull on Earth.

GOLDAR:  Huh?

IVAN:  Nevermind.  You serve me now.

GOLDAR:  So, what are we going to do about the Power Rangers, o my hideous one?

[Ivan hacks up a loogie and spits it across the chamber.]

IVAN (walking away):  And now to deal with the Power Rangers!

[The loogie grows into a large puddle of ooze.]

MORDANT:  Wait!  Something's happening!

[Ivan looks back.  The ooze begins to form into humanoid shapes.  The ooze then
solidifies into a large pack of Tengu Warriors.]

IVAN:  Oh, right, the Master Vile gimmick.  (clears his throat)  Now, my Tengu
Warriors, you will fly to Phaedos even though your wings will have no air to push against
in space, you will find the Power Rangers even though they could be anywhere on the
surface of the planet, and you will tear them apart even though Dulcea will probably
defend them!

[The Tengu caw and head toward the balcony.]

IVAN:  Oh, and don't forget to fly at light speed to keep up with the teleporting Rangers!

[The Tengu fly from the balcony and explode in the vacuum of space outside the castle's
artificial atmosphere.  Ivan sighs and grows a new batch of Tengu - this time they are
wearing spacesuits.]

---

[The Rangers arrive on a rocky beach on Phaedos.]

KIM:  My gosh, look at this place...

ADAM:  It looks just like Earth.

AISHA (apart from the others):  You guys!  Over here, quick!

[The Rangers rush over to her and look at the skeletal remains of a large creature wearing
a harness.]

ROCKY:  Whew, good thing we rushed over here!  It could've gotten away!

ADAM:  What is it?

BILLY:  I'm guessing a dead creature of some sort.

TOMMY:  Come on, guys, we've got a beach to wander along.

[As the Rangers walk away, a figure in a green cloak watches them from a cliff high
above.]

BRYAN SPICER:  Hey!  We're trying to film a movie here!

DULCEA:  Oh, sorry.  (gets out of the frame)

---

[It's daybreak on Earth.  The sign on the fence outside a chemical plant reads "Beware of
Villains."]

[Inside the chemical plant are Ivan, Goldar, and Mordant.]

IVAN:  Taking over the world is one thing.  Making big robots to step on cars - that's the
killer.

MORDANT:  Would you like me to make a few calls, sir?

IVAN:  No need;  I'm going to recruit the parents of Angel Grove with a little help from
Ivan's ooze.

MORDANT:  Of course!  That's much better than using Oozelets or Tengu!

GOLDAR:  So, what are you gonna do?  Pollute the water system of Angel Grove with
ooze and brainwash anyone who touches or drinks it?

IVAN:  No, I'll disguise myself as a kindly old wizard, then distribute bottles of ooze to a
fraction of Angel Grove's children, then have a fraction of those childrens' parents
accidentally touch the ooze and become my slaves!  Mua ha ha!

GOLDAR:  Oh, that's much more effective.

---

[The Rangers continue to walk along the rocky shore.  Kimberly pauses to watch the
waves crash over the rocks.]

TOMMY:  Hey, you okay?

KIM:  I was just thinking about Zordon.  He's dying, you know.

TOMMY:  Look, he's gonna make it.  We'll find this Power and then send that slimeball
Ivan Ooze back to the sewer he crawled out of.  Either that or blow him up with a comet.

[Kim smiles.]

TOMMY:  Come on.

[Kim shrieks as a Tengu swoops by.  They both duck.]

TOMMY:  Whoa, what the heck was that?

KIM:  And why was it wearing a spacesuit?

[The other Rangers look back.]

BILLY:  Whoa!

[The Tengu swoop down to attack the Rangers.]

BILLY:  Get down!

[Rocky begins dancing as the others duck, and he gets creamed as the Tengu fly by.
Rocky collapses in pain.]

BILLY:  No, as in _duck_!

[Nearby, a Tengu flies straight at Kim and Tommy.]

TOMMY:  Let's move!

KIM:  I don't know, Tommy... I've lived in Angel Grove all my life...

[Tommy shoves her off the cliff to a lower level of rocks, then jumps down and joins her
and the other Rangers.  The Tengu continue to fly by.]

KIM:  Tommy!

TOMMY:  Hi.

[The Tengu land and begin to fight the Rangers after discarding their space suits.]

[Billy flips over an incoming Tengu, causing it to smash beak-first into a rock wall and
explode.]

BILLY:  You know the funny thing about morphing?

ROCKY:  What's that?

BILLY:  It's when we hold out our morphers and call the names of our respective
dinosaurs to transform into our Ranger identities.

ROCKY:  Oh.  So what's funny about it?

BILLY:  It tickles.  (gets tackled by a Tengu)

[Kim kicks a Tengu but is oblivious to the one swooping toward her from behind.]

TOMMY:  Kimberly, behind you!

[The Tengu grabs her by the shoulders with its feet and begins to fly away.  Kimberly
shrieks.]

TOMMY:  Hang on, Kimberly!

KIM:  But don't I want to get free?

TOMMY:  You can't do that!  You're just a girl!  Wait for one of us men to save you!

AISHA (being restrained by Tengu):  We're losing!  Maybe if we whine hard enough,
somebody will save us!

ADAM:  Good idea, Aisha!

AISHA (whining):  They're too strong!

ADAM (whining):  We need our powers!

[The Tengu screech as the cloaked figure appears on a ledge.  The Tengu drops Kim, and
she plummets to the ground and collapses in a heap.]

KIM (squealing):  My legs!!  They're broken!!

TOMMY (running over to her and inspecting her legs):  Oh, man, darn the luck!  I'm only
good at making splints!

KIM (standing up):  Sorry, I'm fine.  I just wanted you to rush to my aid.

[The Rangers look back up at the mysterious figure who leaps down from the cliff and
discards her robe, revealing it to be Catherine Sutherland in an armored bikini.  As she is
surrounded by Tengu, she flails her staff about unimpressively, eventually hitting herself
in the head with it accidentally.  She tosses the staff aside and then tries to throw a kick
but ends up falling to the ground.]

BRYAN SPICER:  Cut!!  This... this just isn't working.  (to Catherine)  You don't
_really_ have any martial arts training, do you?

CATHERINE (ashamed):  No.

BRYAN SPICER:  Sorry, but you'll have to go.

CATHERINE (sniffling):  I just wanted an exhausting job that paid very little...

HAIM SABAN (off-camera, rubbing his hands together):  She'll do nicely.  Someone
write her up a contract for the series.

[Gabrielle Fitzpatrick replaces Catherine as Dulcea and begins fighting off the Tengu
with her staff.  Soon, she splits her staff in two and twirls the two halves around,
producing a whistling sound.  The Tengu caw in agony and fly away after putting their
spacesuits back on.]

[The Rangers approach Dulcea as she puts her staff back together.]

ROCKY (extending his hand):  That was amazing!  Thanks!

DULCEA (angrily, upon kicking him in the groin):  If you want to thank me, go back to
wherever it is you came from!

AISHA:  We can't go back!  This plot is one-way!

BILLY:  We were told there was a Great Power here.  Is it true?

DULCEA:  Yes!  The ground is littered with the bones of those who tried for it and
failed.

ADAM:  Looks like rocks to me.

DULCEA:  Yes, well, they failed elsewhere.  Two of them went swimming and got
pulled in by the undercurrent, and the other had a tree fall on him in the woods.  But I'm
sure that eventually they would have succumbed to the mighty dinosaur skeleton and the
four fearsome rock monsters.

BILLY:  So you have a total of five monsters on this planet to protect the Great Power?

DULCEA:  Yes, but they are very scary.

TOMMY (stepping forward cockily):  Oh, come on, just let us through.  We won't go
swimming, and we'll watch out for trees.

DULCEA (upon sweeping him off his feet with her staff and pinning him to the ground
with it):  Leave Phaedos before it is too late.

TOMMY:  I can't.  I'm pinned to the ground.

AISHA:  Look, we don't want any trouble.  Our leader Zordon--

DULCEA:  Zordon??  No one could possibly know his name without being a good guy!

KIM:  You know Zordon?  Who are you?

DULCEA (letting Tommy up):  I am Dulcea, master warrior of the planet Phaedos.

TOMMY (whispering to Adam):  I don't guess it's too hard to be the master warrior of
your planet if it's deserted.

DULCEA:  What has happened to Zordon?

BILLY:  Well, the writers decided to muck with his character by giving him a physical
body, which, in my opinion, is really stup--

ROCKY:  He was attacked by this cosmic being named Ivan Ooze.

DULCEA (incredulously):  Ivan Ooze is free?

BILLY:  That's sort of implied, isn't it?

DULCEA:  Ivan Ooze is a monster.  If we don't hurry, your planet is doomed to become
perpetually gooey.  Follow me.  (walks off, with the Rangers following her)

---

[Back at the Command Center.]

ZORDON (weakly):  Alpha, I am deeply concerned about the Rangers.  They're
completely incompetent.

ALPHA:  Please, Zordon, save your strength.  You need to wait to die until minutes
before the Rangers come back.

ZORDON:  Okay.  Let's watch some TV until then.

ALPHA:  Ay yi yi yi yi, hold on.

---

[Ivan Ooze is at a carnival in a wizard disguise, surrounded by a group of children.  It's
midday.]

IVAN:  Guys and girls, girls and guys, gather round and feast your eyes!  I promise you
all you just can't lose when you've got your own supply of Ivan's ooze.

KID1:  Hey, check it out!  That morphological being disguised as a wizard is talking in
rhyme!

KID2:  Whoa, wicked!

IVAN:  Show it to your parents, show it to your friends.  When you've got your ooze, the
fun never ends.

KID2 (pulling some ooze from a jar):  Wow!  Ooze!  This is much more fun than those
stupid Megazord toys!

IVAN:  You may have heard the phrase that looks can be deceiving.  I'm sure that when
you've tried it, you all will be believing!  And did I mention...?  It's free!

KID3:  Hey, he sounds just like my neighborhood drug pusher!

IVAN (passing out ooze jars):  Here you go!  Who wants...

KID4:  Hey, pass some of that disgusting goop this way!

IVAN:  There you are.

[All of the kids erupt into pleas for the ooze.  Fred, in the back, examines his jar.]

FRED:  Now how in the heck did I get my jar so quickly when I'm all the way in the
back?  (shrugs and walks off)

IVAN:  Ah, now, there's enough for everybody!  Take it home in boxes, take it home in
cases!  If your parents try to stop you, just throw it in their faces!

KID5:  Wait, won't we get in trouble if we do that?

IVAN:  Uh... there now, children, no need for alarm;  soon your parents will buy the
farm!

KID6:  But then who's gonna cook us dinner?

IVAN:  Shoot, don't let that bother you;  soon you'll all be dying too!

[Kids cheer.]

---

[On Phaedos, Dulcea leads the Rangers across more rocky beach.]

BILLY:  Dulcea, didn't we just pass this spot a few minutes ago, going the other way?

DULCEA:  Shut up.  I know where I'm going.

KIM:  We have to hurry so Zordon can die right as we beat Ivan Ooze.

[The group crosses a savannah, then a desert, headed toward a mountain range.]

[The Rangers enter the temple ruins up in the mountains.  The sun is beginning to set.]

DULCEA:  What the--?  Oh, I mean, here we are!

TOMMY:  What is this place?

BILLY:  Looks to be some sort of movie set.

DULCEA:  These are the ancient ruins of the Ninjetti Temple.

ROCKY:  What happened to this place?

DULCEA (growling):  I told that idiot not to fly that cloud around indoors...

TOMMY:  What?

DULCEA (smiling):  Nothing.

[They all stand at a ledge overlooking the valley below.]

DULCEA:  There, beyond the Neola Jungle, is the monolith.  Inside awaits the power of
the universe.

ADAM:  Really?

DULCEA:  No.  Just some old animals the Aquitian Rangers didn't ever use.  Now, listen,
the monolith is heavily guarded against intruders by its four mighty bodyguards.  No one
has ever attempted to reach it.

AISHA:  Then how can we?

DULCEA:  We'll call upon the sacred animals of the Ninjetti for help.  (walks to the
center of the ruins, followed by the Rangers)

ROCKY:  Wow!  What'll they do?

DULCEA:  They will give you brightly-colored pajamas and allow Tommy to leap from a
tree.

---

[In Angel Grove, Mr. Kelman pulls up at his house.]

MR. KELMAN (walking inside):  Fred?  (spots the jar of ooze on the counter)  Hey, a
strange jar!  (opens it, smells it, and then scoops some out with his fingers and eats it)

[Mr. Kelman enters into a trance and walks outside to join the dozens of other zombified
parents walking down the street.]

---

[In the Command Center, Alpha works on the controls.]

ALPHA:  There, now we should get everything but the Fox network.

ZORDON:  Good work, Alpha.

[The Viewing Globe tunes into a news broadcast.]

REPORTER:  ...Angel Grove police have been fielding hundreds of calls about missing
parents from concerned citizens who are unable to look out their windows.

[Signal changes to a broadcast of Ivan in the wizard disguise in front of a "free ooze"
banner and stacks of ooze jars.]

IVAN:  Hi, folks, Ivan Ooze - kindly old wizard - here, not to be confused with the Ivan
Ooze of world domination fame.  Are you bored with your work?  Are you bored with
your wife?  Then come on down to Ooze City, and let's get sticky!

ALPHA:  Ay yi yi yi yi!

ZORDON (weakly):  Ivan's evil plot is taking shape.  Soon the entire world shall be
sticky.

---

[It's nighttime on Phaedos.  The Rangers stand near a bonfire in the middle of the ruins as
Dulcea, standing at a stone altar nearby, pours some glitter from a pouch into her palm.
She walks over to the fire.]

DULCEA:  Buried deep within each of us is an animal spirit waiting to be released.  (to
herself)  Hee hee, little do they know, these animals have existed since the Battle Borgs
were created over a millennium ago, and all I'm doing is assigning each of them the
Ninjazord that matches their color.  But this personal animal spirit crap sounds so much
more meaningful.

AISHA:  What was that, Dulcea?

DULCEA:  Nothing.  Just close your eyes and look deep inside.

[The Rangers close their eyes.  Dulcea blows the glitter into the fire, causing it to flare
up.  A cloud of blue glitter swirls around the fire.]

NINJOR (from the glitter, howling like a ghost):  Wooooooo!

[The glitter surrounds the Rangers and forms Ninjetti suits on them.  The fire calms
down, and the Rangers inspect the symbols on their chests.  Adam looks up from his
symbol with confusion on his face.  The Rangers pull back their hoods and Dulcea
approaches them.]

DULCEA:  Aisha, you are the Bear - big and fuzzy.

[Aisha smiles.]

DULCEA:  Rocky, you are as smart as an Ape.

[Rocky smiles.]

DULCEA:  Billy, you are the Wolf.  Enjoy your powers while you have 'em.

[Billy forces himself to smile.]

DULCEA:  Kimberly, there was no Pink Aquitian Ranger, so you don't get a Zord.

KIM:  Huh?

[Dulcea moves on to Adam, who's looking at the others with a long face.]

DULCEA:  Adam...  Adam, what's wrong?

ADAM:  I'm a frog.

DULCEA:  Yes, a frog!  The slimy kind that eats bugs.

[Adam frowns.]

DULCEA:  And you, Tommy, get the Falcon and the Crane, the two white Ninjazords.

[Tommy smiles.]

KIM:  Wait... why couldn't I use the Crane?

TOMMY:  Kim, no need to be greedy.

BILLY:  No, wait, Tommy... I think she may be on to something.

DULCEA:  All right, fine.  Kimberly's the Crane.

[Kim smiles.]

DULCEA (upon walking to the balcony):  To those who are Ninjetti, anything is possible.
To everyone else, tough luck.  Now, please make yourselves at home and waste the entire
night here, then leave in the morning.

AISHA:  But aren't you coming with us, Dulcea?

DULCEA:  Well, all right.  I don't see why n--  Hey!  No!  This is your stupid quest!
Sheesh!  (transforms into a white owl and flies away)

[In the distance, the owl dives toward the ground and devours a small frog.]

ADAM:  Hey!

---

[Fred enters his house.]

FRED:  Dad?  Da-ad!  Da-ad, where are you?  Did you wander off to the construction site
again?

---

[The parents of Angel Grove dig up rocks in the construction site.]

IVAN (sitting among a pile of rocks and holding a steaming goblet):  I forgot how slow
parents are.  I thought my Ectomorphicons would be dug up by now.

GOLDAR:  Why didn't you just use the Power Rangers' old Zords?

IVAN:  Shut up!

[The Tengu warriors fly down.]

IVAN (setting his goblet down):  Ah, my Tengu.

[The Tengu land, cawing loudly.]

IVAN:  Stop your screeching.  (laughs)  How did you fare?

TENGU1 (in a cawing voice):  Well, everything was going great, up until they used a
Dulcea that could fight!

IVAN:  Dulcea!  Who would've thought that the "master warrior of Phaedos" would be
protecting Phaedos, of all places?  If she leads them to the Great Power, there's sure to be
a big expensive CGI battle!

TENGU1:  Ah, do you want us to take another whack at it?

IVAN:  How about taking another _quack_ at it!  (blasts them with purple electricity,
causing them to explode in a burst of black feathers)

MORDANT:  But, boss, that didn't make any sense!

IVAN:  Silence!  One-liners don't have to make sense!  Now quickly, my Ectomorphicon
machines must be unearthed in time for the Zord fight!

---

[It is morning on Phaedos.  The Rangers look upon the Neola Jungle.  They are very
refreshed after having slept on stone slabs the entire night.]

TOMMY:  It's time.

ROCKY:  Morphin' time?

TOMMY:  No, just "time."

[The Rangers walk down the path leading to the forest.  They cross a savannah and enter
the forest, which is densely packed with enormous trees.]

BILLY:  Man, this jungle goes on forever.  Until it stops.

TOMMY:  We've gotta keep moving, guys.  The movie's running out.

---

[At the construction site, Fred looks for Mr. Kelman and eventually spots him.]

FRED:  Dad!  Dad!  You idiot, what the hell is wrong with you?

[Mr. Kelman ignores Fred, continuing to dig through rocks.]

FRED:  Dad, we gotta get outta here!

GOLDAR (his voice echoing through the construction site):  Hey, you!

FRED (shouting back):  Yeah?

GOLDAR (talking to a parent on the other side of the construction site):  Get back to
work!

MORDANT:  Yeah, pick up those rocks!  Sheesh, we might as well have gotten some
excavation machinery instead of these puny humans!

GOLDAR (to parents):  Put your weak backs into it!

MR. DESANTOS (looking up from his pile of rocks):  Hey, I can't help it.  It runs in my
family.

[Fred watches the hypnotized parents unearthing some sort of giant machine.]

IVAN (laughs):  Once my Ectomorphicons are up and running, I shall annihilate Angel
Grove and then... the universe!

GOLDAR:  Maybe you should move on to California first.

FRED (to himself):  Oh, man, I'd better see what's going on in the abandoned chemical
plant!

---

[The Rangers walk through the Phaedos forest at daytime.  Around them are the huge
bones of long-dead dinosaurs.]

AISHA:  What is this place?

BILLY:  Looks like some sort of movie set.

TOMMY:  No, it's a graveyard.  This'll be much more interesting than that dumb old
nighttime scene where we were supposed to interact with our spirit animals.

KIM:  You mean they cut out our animal scene so we could get chased around by a stupid
dinosaur skeleton?

TOMMY:  Shh.  It's symbolic of the loss of our dinosaur powers.

KIM:  Uh huh.

BILLY (peering into a dinosaur skull):  Say, take a look at this big skeleton that's about to
come to life and chase us around.  (leaps out of the way of the incoming tail)

[Suddenly, the entire skeleton comes to life, roars, and charges at Aisha.]

ROCKY:  Aisha!  Run screaming and back yourself into someplace so that you have to
be rescued by one of us men!

[Aisha does as she's told and backs herself against a slope in the ground.  Rocky rushes to
her rescue and smashes a bone against the dinosaur's head.]

ROCKY:  Big stick go smash!

[The dinosaur turns its head toward Rocky, sending him flying.]

ROCKY (hitting a pile of leaves, before falling unconscious):  My back!

KIM (screaming):  Rocky!!

[The dinosaur charges Adam.]

ADAM:  Hey, buddy!  You've got a frog in your throat!

[Adam leaps into the dinosaur's open jaws, which immediately clamp shut.]

ADAM (from inside the dinosaur's mouth):  Aw, man.  That really wasn't the best
one-liner to use in that situation.

[The dinosaur heads for Kim.]

KIM (running):  Get away from me!

[Kim backs herself into a large ribcage and begins screaming.]

KIM (screaming):  Tommy!!  (screams again)

TOMMY:  Wow, what a girl.

KIM (screaming):  Tommy!!  (screams again)

TOMMY (grabbing a stick):  Oh, right!  (rushes over to the dinosaur)  All right,
bonehead!  (hits the dinosaur's skull repeatedly with the stick)

ROCKY (nearby, standing up and brushing himself off):  I taught him that one.

[The dinosaur roars at Tommy.]

TOMMY (running away):  Whoa!  Sorry, Kim!  I tried my best!

[The dinosaur chases after him, and he tries to climb up a tree but immediately falls out
and lands on the dinosaur's back.  The dinosaur bucks and thrashes about.]

TOMMY:  Whoa!  Whoa!  Whoa!  Whoa!  Whoa!  Whoa!  Whoooooa!

AISHA:  Tommy, hang on!

TOMMY:  Good advice, Aisha!  I'll try that!  Whoa!  Whoa!  (grunts)

BILLY:  Tommy!

TOMMY:  Hi!  Whooooa!  (grunts)

ROCKY:  Hold on tight, Tommy!

TOMMY:  Thanks, Rocky!  Aisha already told me that, but I'd already forgotten!  Whoa!
(grunts)  Whoa!  (grunts)

[The dinosaur, disoriented by the battery of whoas and grunts, lapses into a coma.  While
it's stunned, Tommy looks down at the dinosaur's spine.]

TOMMY:  Hey, what's this?  Better pull it out!  (pulls out a vertebra, causing the
dinosaur's head to fall off)

TOMMY:  Huh?

[The skeleton falls apart.]

TOMMY (falling):  Whoooa!  (lands with a grunt)

[The Rangers rush over to him.]

KIM (helping him up):  Are you okay?

[Tommy grunts.]

ROCKY:  Well, maybe we should get outta here before something exciting happens.

TOMMY:  Yeah.

[The Rangers walk away.]

ADAM (still inside the dinosaur's mouth):  Guys?

---

[In the chemical plant, the parents carry boxes of ooze around.  A piece of
Ectomorphicon in the foreground is being hoisted up by cables.]

FRED (stealthily watching from nearby):  Oh no!  An evil factory making gallons of
brainwashing ooze and twin machines capable of enslaving the entire universe!  (shrugs)
Oh well, I wonder what's going on at Ernie's.  (leaves)

GOLDAR (to the parents):  Hurry up with that construction!  (to Ivan)  Hey, boss,
construction is completed!

IVAN:  Ah, good, I thought that Ectomorphicon piece being hoisted around just a few
seconds ago meant they were still being built.

GOLDAR:  Actually, we couldn't figure out where that went, so we left it out.

IVAN (shouting):  Parents of Angel Grove!  You have completed my Ectomorphicons!
But, frankly, I'm sick of your nonexistent personalities and your union cards!

GOLDAR:  Yeah.  (laughs)

[Mordant snickers.]

IVAN:  You will return to your homes and continue with your lives!

GOLDAR:  Uh, that's not evil enough.

IVAN:  Fine, then... (to parents) ...return to the construction site and leap to your doom!

[The parents all drop their boxes and begin hopping toward the door.]

PARENTS (bouncing around like kangaroos, chanting):  Leap to our doom...

IVAN (calling after them):  No, don't start leaping until you're there!

[But the parents have already left.]

IVAN (turning to his Ectomorphicons):  Finally, the moment of truth!  Mordant, let the
ooze flow!

MORDANT:  Comin' right up.  (turns a valve, filling the Ectomorphicons with ooze)

IVAN:  Oooooze!  Give my creatures life!  Life, I tell you, liiiife!!  (blasts the
Ectomorphicons with purple electricity, but nothing happens)  What's wrong?

MORDANT:  Oh!  (pushes the play button on the CGI animation)

[The Ectomorphicons come to life.]

IVAN:  Now beware, cars of Angel Grove, for my Ectomorphicons shall stomp on you!
And then... the universe!  (roars with laughter)

---

[The Rangers enter a clearing in the forest and discover the monolith.]

AISHA:  We're here!

ROCKY:  That was easy enough.

[The Rangers walk forward and get a closer look.]

ADAM:  What do you think?

BILLY:  Looks to be some sort of--

TOMMY:  Wait here.  (walks up to the temple and looks at one of the statues)  Hmm, a
statue.  I'd better touch it and then turn by back to it.  (does so)

[The statue's blades retract.]

KIM:  Tommy!!

[Tommy spins around to see the statue coming to life and emerging from the wall in the
form of a rock monster.]

MONSTER (in a distinguished British accent):  Hello.

TOMMY:  What the--?

MONSTER:  In order to pass, you must answer one question.  When was Angel Grove
founded?

TOMMY:  Well, since it was a colonial town, I'm guessing two hundred years ago.

KIM:  Tommy!  What history books have _you_ been reading?  California belonged to
Spain back then!

BILLY:  Not to mention there were no colonies at that time.  They declared their
independence back in--

MONSTER (growling):  You lose!  (swings its blades at Tommy, nicking his suit)

ADAM:  Tommy!  Try to distract it with all your whoas and grunts!

TOMMY (backing up):  Whoa!  Whoa!  Whoa!  (grunts)  Whoa!  (backflips over to the
others and inspects the cut in his suit)  Man, that's coming out of my paycheck!

[Three more statues come to life, and together, the four monsters approach the Rangers.]

KIM:  What now?

TOMMY:  Looks like this is the end of the Power Rangers...

KIM (smacking him on the arm):  You always say that!  Sheesh, talk about pessimistic...

ROCKY:  I suggest putting on our ninja hoods!

TOMMY:  Why?  They won't give us special powers!

ROCKY:  No, but we'll look really cool when the rock monsters kill us!

TOMMY:  Then let's do it!  Ninjetti!  (his mask is instantly back on)  The Falcon!

[As the others call out their sacred animal names, they have their masks on.]

ADAM:  The Frog!

ROCKY:  The Ape!

KIM:  The Crane!

BILLY:  The Wolf!

AISHA:  The Bear!

[A monster growls and swings at Aisha.]

AISHA (ducking its weapon just in time):  Whoa!  I guess now I should be thankful that
everything goes over my head!

[The Ninjetti Rangers try to fight the scary monsters.]

ADAM (upon kicking one):  These things are made of rock!

BILLY:  That's odd, considering they were originally statues.

KIM (climbing up a cliff while a monster pursues her):  I hope one of the guys can come
help me soon!

ADAM (nearly falling off a cliff while trying to evade a monster):  Whoa!  (dodges the
monster's attack and slips by it)

ROCKY (climbing a vine):  Hang tight, Adam!  (grunts)  As soon as I'm done climbing
this vine, I'll come help you!

[The monster nearly has Adam cornered.]

ADAM (ducking through the monster's legs):  Ever dissect a frog?  (to himself)  Hey,
wait a minute, that's not a good one-liner at all!

ROCKY (sliding back down the vine):  Okay, now that that's over with... (gets behind the
monster and then flings himself off the cliff but manages to save himself by grabbing a
root sticking out from the cliff)

ROCKY:  Adam!

ADAM:  You dork!  You were supposed to save _me_!

[The monster takes a few whacks at Rocky's hands.]

ADAM:  Hey, lava head!

MALIGORE:  Yes?

ADAM (to Maligore):  Not you!  The rock monster!

MALIGORE:  Oh.  (scuffles away)

ADAM (to the rock monster):  Hey, Mr. Rock Guy!

[The monster looks up at him.  Adam kicks it over the cliff, and it plummets into the
water below.]

ROCKY (as Adam helps him back up):  Thanks, Adam.  I thought I was finished!

ADAM:  Yeah.  You almost got wet there.

[They watch the monster below sizzle into steam.]

ADAM:  That's one down...

ROCKY:  ...and a cheeseburger to go.

AISHA (elsewhere, being chased by a monster):  Gotta remember my girl training!
(looks around)  Aha!  (backs herself into a tiny cave and starts screaming for help)

ROCKY (kicking the monster from behind):  Someone call for a manly man?

AISHA:  Yeah, but you'll do.

[Rocky kicks the weapon from the monster's hand.]

ROCKY:  Whoa, let's talk about this!

MONSTER:  Well, you want to take the Great Power.  And I feel threatened by that.

ROCKY:  I see.  What you need is a way to let out your frustrations.

MONSTER:  I feel that hurling my spear at your groin would make me feel much better.

ROCKY:  And I accept that.

[The monster hurls its huge spear at Rocky.  Rocky leaps up into a split to avoid the
spear, which strikes a tree inches from his groin.  He then drops down and racks himself
on the spear.  He falls to the ground and doubles over in agony.]

ROCKY (groaning):  I now see why just dodging it might have been a better idea...

KIM (having climbed up above the monster chasing her, trying to push a boulder onto it):
Come on, roll!

TOMMY (swinging in on a vine):  Hang on, Kimberly!  You can't do anything without a
man to help you!  (kicks the monster and joins Kim behind the boulder)  They're strong,
but they're not too smart.

KIM:  Like a certain White Ranger?

TOMMY (chuckling):  Yeah.  What a loser.  (wedges a branch beneath the boulder)
Come on, help me push.

KIM:  Right.

[They push.]

KIM:  Let's rock his world.

TOMMY:  Okay, but first, let's bury him in boulders.

[They start a landslide which crushes the empty monster suit below.]

[Meanwhile, Billy leaps from a cliff onto a tree branch to escape one of the two
remaining monsters.  Billy watches his attacker, off-camera, teleport down to the ground
below to be in the next shot with Adam.]

[Below, Adam is attacked by the last two monsters.]

ADAM:  What is this, Veterans Day?  (looks down)  No, wait...

[The monsters continue to attack him.]

BILLY (in a tree above):  Hey, Adam, could you use a hand?

ADAM:  The thought crossed my mind.

[Billy gives him a round of applause.]

ADAM:  Thanks.  Now could I get some help?

[Billy tosses one end of a vine down.  Adam jumps onto the vine as Billy holds onto the
other end and jumps off the other side of the branch.  The friction on the vine jams the
pulley system;  Billy is left hanging directly below the branch, and Adam hangs a few
inches off the ground.]

[One monster swings at Adam's head.  Adam ducks, and the blade severs the vine,
plopping Adam on the ground and sending Billy crashing down onto the second monster's
head.]

MONSTER2 (holding his head as Billy rolls off and lands on the ground):  Oh, man, talk
about a splitting headache...

[It begins to rain.  The two remaining monsters dissolve.]

ADAM (as the rain slacks off):  Hey, why is this rain ye--  (looks up at Tommy in a tree,
above)  Tommy, that's disgusting!!

[The remaining Rangers meet up and wait for Tommy.]

BILLY (to Tommy):  Well, come on down!  We've won!  Frighteningly easily... but the
point is that we've won.

TOMMY:  Ninjetti Corkscrew Kick!  (leaps off the branch and crashes into the ground
below)

[The ground begins to rumble, and the jungle grows dark.  The Rangers pull back their
hoods.]

TOMMY:  Whoa.

ADAM:  Whoa.

TOMMY:  Hey, that's my line.

[Adam grunts.]

TOMMY:  That too.

KIM:  Whoa, what's happening?

TOMMY:  I can't tell, what with all the rumbling from the pyramid as it opens to give us
new powers.

[The temple opens, revealing a small stone pyramid backlit by a bright white light.  On
the pyramid is the golden insignia of the Ninjazords.  The pyramid slowly slides forward.
It stops, and the Rangers step closer.]

AISHA:  The Great Power!

BILLY:  The sacred animals!

ADAM (looking at the ground):  A caterpillar!

[The stone pyramid turns around, revealing Ernie standing at a counter.]

ADAM:  Ernie!

ERNIE:  Hi, guys.  What'll it be?

TOMMY:  Uh, we're looking for the Great Power...

ERNIE (rummaging around behind the counter):  Okay, let's see... (pulls out a cardboard
box and peeks inside)  Nope, that's Mediocre Power.  (checks another box)  Aha, here we
go.  Great Power.  (opens the box, releasing six golden animal spirits)

BILLY:  New Zords!

[The animals fly into the Rangers' chest symbols and suit them up in their Power Ranger
suits.]

AISHA:  We did it!

BILLY:  Our morphers are... on our belts again!

TOMMY:  We've got the power!

["The Power" by Snap begins playing in the background.]

KIM:  All right!

ADAM:  Hang on, Zordon!  ...assuming you haven't already died!

ROCKY:  We're on our way!

KIM:  Let's do it!

TOMMY:  No time for that now!  We've gotta stop Ivan Ooze!

[The Rangers touch their morphers and teleport.  Ernie smiles at the sky for a moment
and then transforms into a yak and runs away.]

---

[Daytime in Angel Grove.  Hornitor causes terror in the streets.  Meanwhile, Goldar and
Ivan are ontop of a tower watching the chaos.]

IVAN:  Automobiles of Angel Grove, tremble in fear!

[Below, Scorpitron blasts a car with its tail.  Hornitor steps on a car.]

---

[In the Command Center, Alpha watches the news on the Viewing Globe.]

REPORTER:  The mayor has declared a state of insanity.  He's asked that the city be
immediately evacuated.  Angel Grove has never known such a crisis, except for the
hundred or so monster attacks before this.

ALPHA:  Ay yi yi yi yi!  Zordon, the Rangers are on their way!  Now's the time for you to
die!

ZORDON:  All right.  (closes his eyes)

---

[The Rangers streak through space toward the Earth.]

ROCKY:  Wheeeeeee!

---

[Nighttime.  Ivan and Goldar look over the railing of the tower.]

IVAN:  I love the smell of the destruction in the evening...

GOLDAR:  Uh, yeah...

IVAN (upon sniffing the air):  What's that smell?

GOLDAR:  Destruction.

IVAN:  No, the other one!

GOLDAR:  Chaos?

IVAN (looking to the sky):  Inconceivable!  The Power Rangers!

GOLDAR:  But, boss, you knew they were getting the Great Power and heading back
here!  That's why you hurried up the construction of the Ectomorphicons!

IVAN:  Oh, right.

---

[The Rangers materialize in the street below.  There is debris everywhere, and various
things are on fire.]

TOMMY:  Oh, man, look at this miss!

KIM:  This what?

TOMMY:  This miss!

KIM (after thinking for a moment):  Oh, you mean "mess!"

TOMMY:  That's what I said!

ROCKY:  This is Ivan's handiwork...

ADAM:  Let's get back to the Command Center.

AISHA:  Why didn't we teleport there in the first place?

BILLY:  We had to make sure Zordon had plenty of time to die.

[A loud metallic footstep echoes through the street.]

BILLY:  Wait, what was that?

AISHA:  I don't know, but maybe we could ask that giant scorpion robot.

[The Rangers see Scorpitron lumbering toward them.]

KIM:  Whoa, what is that thing?

TOMMY:  Guess Ivan's been busy while we were away.

ROCKY:  Aha!  That must be why I said, "This is Ivan's handiwork!"

[Scorpitron blasts a car with its tail.]

ALL:  Whoa!

TOMMY:  Whoa, what's that?

[The Rangers turn around to see Hornitor behind them.]

AISHA:  I don't know.  Let's ask that second giant robot monster.

[Hornitor blasts the street with lasers from its face.]

KIM:  Whoa.

AISHA:  We've got to stop these things.

TOMMY:  I don't know... maybe we should gawk at them some more...

KIM:  Wait, Tommy, we have new Ninjazords!

TOMMY (looking up at the Ninjazords circling the city overhead):  You're right!

ROCKY (preparing to leap into the air):  Let's go!

TOMMY (holding Rocky down):  No, wait!  We have to take turns saying their names!

ROCKY AND AISHA:  Right!

BILLY AND ADAM:  Right!

[Hornitor and Scorpitron occupy themselves by destroying more cars as the Rangers pose
and name their Zords.]

KIM (posing):  Ninja Crane Zord!

BILLY (posing):  Ninja Wolf Zord!

ADAM (posing):  Ninja Frog Zord!

ROCKY (posing):  Ninja Ape Zord!

AISHA (posing):  Ninja Bear Zord!

TOMMY (posing):  Ninja Falcon Zord!

ROCKY (sighing):  _Now_ can we go?

TOMMY:  No.  We have to do a cool special effect first.

[The Rangers, in a circle, hold out their Power Coins.  Golden energy beams out from
them, converging into a central point.]

GOLDAR:  Oh no!  They're very slowly summoning their Zords!

[The insignia of the sacred animals rises from the convergence point of the energy.  The
Ninjazords fly down from the night sky.]

KIM (pointing to the sky):  Check it out!

BILLY:  Ninjazords!

TOMMY:  Cool!

AISHA:  All right!

ROCKY:  Cool!

TOMMY (to Rocky):  Hey, I already said that!

ROCKY:  Uh... Zorderiffic!

ADAM:  Awesome!

TOMMY:  Let's do it!

KIM:  No time for that now!  There's a Zord fight coming up!

ALL:  Right!  Ninjazords, power up!  (they fly up into the air and rendezvous with the
Ninjazords)

ROCKY:  Wheeeee!

TOMMY (sliding into his cockpit):  Ready to rock!  (unable to find a control port for
Saba, he plunges the blade into his seat cushion)

BILLY (sliding into his cockpit):  All systems online... including flight, even though this
Zord's not supposed to fly.

ADAM (sliding into his cockpit):  Activating weapons systems! (gets electrocuted)
Aaagh!  Man, I'd better wait to do that until the tongue's _out_ next time.

KIM (sliding into her cockpit):  Nice st--  Hey, this thing only gets AM!

ROCKY:  We're outta here!

AISHA:  Sounds good to me!  I didn't wanna do this fight scene anyway!

[The Bear Zord veers away from the others and heads in the direction of the mall.]

ROCKY:  No, wait, Aisha!  You misunderstood my lousy line!

[Aisha looks back at the other Zords, and, in her moment of distraction, the Bear Zord
smashes into a skyscraper.]

AISHA:  Oops.  I hit a building.

BILLY:  Don't worry, that's the only thing your Zord was good for anyway.  We'll catch
you later, when we're ready to form the Megazord.

[The other Ninjazords head toward the streets below.]

---

[The parents mindlessly hop down the street.]

PARENTS (chanting):  Leap to our doom... Leap to our doom... Leap to our doom...

---

[The kids of Angel Grove, including Bulk and Skull, have a wild party at Ernie's.  Fred
stands up on Bulk and Skull's table.]

BULK (looking at the meal beneath Fred's feet):  I was gonna eat that!

FRED:  Hey, everyone!

[No one listens.  Fred whistles.]

KID1:  Hey, check it out!  That kid just whistled!

KID2:  Wow!  I'll bet he has something important to say!

[Everyone falls silent.]

FRED:  Listen up!  You all think this is one big party, don't you?

KID3:  Hey, yeah, man, parties rule!!

KID4:  Let's hear it for parties!

[Kids all cheer.]

FRED:  Well, you've all been brainwashed!  Ivan's taking over the planet, and he's using
all of us in his plans!  And he's got our parents!

KID5:  What are you talking about?

FRED:  Look, trust me, it made sense in an earlier revision of the script!  You've gotta
believe me!  You were all supposed to be under a spell that vanished when I sprayed you
with water, but now you're all just irresponsible, and I have to rely on my compelling
speech to win you over!

[Silence.]

KID5:  What are you talking about?

---

[The Falconzord flies over the city.]

TOMMY:  All right, Rangers, I'm over the east quadrant.  My sensors are picking up a
disturbance.  I think it may be one of those giant robots that's destroying the city.  I'm
going in.

[Falconzord flies toward Scorpitron.]

TOMMY:  I've got a lock.  Puny, ineffective rockets away!

[Minimissiles fire from the Falconzord's wings, striking Scorpitron.  Scorpitron retaliates
with several tail blasts, the last of which strikes the Falconzord's wing.]

TOMMY:  I've been hit!  I'm pulling out!

ADAM (over the radio):  Don't worry, Tommy;  conveniently enough, we don't need your
Zord for a while.

---

[The Frog wraps its tongue around Scorpitron's neck.]

ADAM:  Now I've got you!  You can't do anything but fire at me from a distance!

[Scorpitron blasts the Frog.]

ADAM:  Bad move, Sparky!  You play with fire, you're gonna get electrocuted!

[The Frog's tongue electrocutes Scorpitron, but the machine fires again at the Frog.]

ADAM:  I need backup!  My witty lines aren't even fazing him!

BILLY (over the radio):  I'm on my way!

[The Wolf sneaks in behind Scorpitron.]

BILLY:  Hee hee, I'll bite his tail.  That'll get 'im good.

ADAM:  Hurry!  I don't know how much longer my tongue can hold out!

[The Wolf pounces and clamps its jaws onto Scorpitron's tail.]

BILLY:  All right, got him!  (grunts as the Wolf gets flung around by Scorpitron's waving
tail)

ADAM:  That was your plan?  Get swung around on his tail?

BILLY:  It seemed like a good idea at the time...

---

[The Ape looks down at Hornitor from the top of a building.]

ROCKY:  Leap to our doom...

[The Ape leaps down and grapples Hornitor from behind.]

ROCKY:  Oh, man, I've got him now!

AISHA (in the Bear Zord, nearby):  Try your weapons!

ROCKY:  Shut up!  I don't have any weapons!

AISHA:  Well, then, just hang in there!

ROCKY:  Ooh, good idea...

---

[A group of kids, including Bulk, Skull, and Fred, runs through the city.]

KID1:  Come on, let's take the monorail, as opposed to our original plan of swimming
across the bay!

[The kids pile into the monorail train.]

KID2:  Let's get down to the construction site!

BULK:  Wish I'd thought of that.

SKULL:  Hey, Bulk, why are we the only high schoolers here?

BULK:  I don't know.  Just look concerned.

[Fred hits a few buttons, calling on his monorail training from elementary school, and the
train leaves the station.  As it speeds away, the Angel Grove sign taped to the side blows
off, revealing a Sydney sign.]

---

[The Crane flies over the city, having flown beneath a large crane atop a building.]

KIM (looking back):  Hey, that couldn't have been a subtle visual gag, could it?
(chuckles)  Yeah, right, something clever on Power Rangers.

IVAN:  Ah, here comes that cute little Pink Ranger to the rescue.

GOLDAR:  Oh, you think she's cute too, huh?  You know, she really is a babe.  I found
some really hot pictures of her on the Internet, but I think it's just someone who looks a
lot like her...

IVAN (looking at Goldar):  You forget, I'm a master of disguise.

[Goldar shudders.]

KIM (flying toward the tower):  One order of toasted slime coming up.

IVAN:  Hey, that's disgusting!  (blasts the Crane with purple electricity, stopping it in
midair)

KIM:  Ivan's got me in some sort of electromagnetic deadlock!  I can't break free!

TOMMY (over the radio):  Hang on, Kimberly!  Big man to the rescue!

KIM:  I'm burning up in here!

AISHA (over the radio):  Kimberly, use your air conditioner!

KIM:  Right!  Now which button...?  (pushes a random button)

[The Crane engages its thrusters and escapes.]

KIM:  Oh no!  I accidentally turned on my engines!  (looks around)  Oh, hey, I'm free!

---

[Elsewhere, Scorpitron's tail breaks off, sending the Wolf flying, with Billy yelling.  Ooze
streams out from Scorpitron's severed tail.]

SCORPITRON:  Huh...?

[Ooze splatters Billy's visor.]

BILLY:  Agh, oozed.

ADAM:  Hey, Billy, why didn't we see you land?

BILLY:  Because the animation for that would have required much more realism than the
CGI team was capable of producing.

ADAM:  Oh.  Hey, by the way, I'm losing my grip over here.  I can't ineffectively grapple
this guy much longer!

[The Falconzord flies in.]

TOMMY:  Falconzord is back in the game after a quick dip in the lake!  Adam, move it!
I'm the only one with a decent set of weapons!

ADAM:  He's all yours.

[The Frog retracts its tongue.]

TOMMY:  All right, big guy, lights out for you!

[The Falconzord folds its wings toward Scorpitron.  This makes the Falcon lose all of its
aerodynamics, and it crashes to the ground in front of Scorpitron.]

TOMMY:  Rockets away!

[The Falconzord releases several large missiles from its sideways position on the ground,
and Scorpitron explodes into pieces.]

ADAM:  He's outta there!

TOMMY:  Target neutralized!  Let's go get the other one.

[The Falconzord gets up and lifts off again.]

[Elsewhere, the Ape wrestles with Hornitor.]

ROCKY:  He's too strong!  And I can't remember what Aisha told me!  "Hold... up?"
"Hold... off?"  What was it?

[Hornitor throws the Ape over its back.]

ROCKY:  Whooooa!  (grunts)

[As the Ape slides to a stop on the street, the other Ninjazords arrive.]

TOMMY:  Everybody close in.  This street's a dead end.

ADAM:  But, Tommy, Hornitor can fly.

TOMMY:  Quiet.

[As the Ninjazords approach, Hornitor looks up at the tower, whining and chattering its
mandibles in fear.]

IVAN:  They've destroyed my beautiful creation.  (growling slowly)  Now I'm beginning
to get really angry!

[Goldar cowers.]

IVAN (leaning over the railing and shouting at the Zords):  Hey, you stupid Rangers!
...You're dumb!  You... stupid dummies!  (chuckles to himself)  That solves that.

GOLDAR:  But it's that part of the movie where the main villain puts himself in mortal
danger by facing the good guys in person!

IVAN:  All right, fine...

[Ivan stretches down from the tower in ooze form and enters Hornitor through its back.]

KIM:  Oh, I'm gonna be sick.

AISHA (over the radio):  From watching Ivan merge with Hornitor?

KIM:  No, from that crap we ate on Phaedos.  Alien plants... bleah.

[Rocky starts to say something.]

KIM (interrupting him):  Yes, Rocky, I'll take my helmet off beforehand.

[Hornitor's face changes, and it becomes the robotic visage of Ivan.]

AISHA:  Whoa, somebody call a plastic surgeon.

[Rocky ejects from the Ape cockpit and runs to a payphone.]

AISHA (over the external speakers):  No, Rocky, that was just a one-liner!

ROCKY:  Oh.  (leaps back up into the Ape)

[Ivan grabs the tower and begins to pry it loose.]

GOLDAR:  Oh no!  I'm outta here!

[Goldar leaps away from the tower to fly to safety.  He quickly realizes, though, that his
puny wings can't make him fly, and he drops like a rock.  Fortunately for him, a quantum
ripple inexplicably teleports him to the moon before he strikes the pavement.]

IVAN (wielding the tower as a weapon):  Time for a little foreplay.  (steps on monorail
track as he approaches the Zords)

KIM:  He destroyed the monorail track!

TOMMY:  That's my cue!  See you in a few minutes!  (flies off)

ALL:  Ninja Megazord, power up!

[The Ninjazords combine.  In the process, the Crane is connected one moment but then
actually connects immediately afterward.]

KIM:  Cranezord locked on, twice.  Checking out.  (her seat slides back from the Crane
cockpit and joins with the Megazord cockpit)

ALL (in Megazord cockpit):  Ninja Battle Mode, now!

[Megazord strikes a pose.]

BILLY:  That was so much fun, I think I'll say it again.  Activating Ninja Megazord Battle
Mode!  (looks at the controls)  Hmm... this Megazord doesn't have a sword, so we'll just
rip off the Shogun Megazord's saber and call it the Power Sword.

ALL:  Power Sword, now!

[Megazord brandishes its sword.]

IVAN (approaching the Megazord):  Shall we tango?

ROCKY:  Actually, I had a little swordfighting in mind!

IVAN:  I know, you cretin!  It was a figure of speech!

[Ivan swings with the tower, but the Megazord blocks and then retaliates, only to be
blocked in return.]

---

[The monorail train speeds along the track.]

KID1:  Oh no, what is that?

KID2:  Looks like some sort of morphological being fused with an Ectomorphicon titan.

KID1:  No, look!  The track's broken!

FRED (whining):  Oh no!

[Bulk and Skull, in the background, gasp in horror.]

[The Falconzord flies in.]

TOMMY:  Hang on, kids.

BULK (to Skull):  I don't know about you, but I really don't like being included in that
"kids."

SKULL:  Uh-uh.

[The Falconzord nears the track.]

TOMMY:  Falconzord is coming in for a landing!

FRED:  Everybody hang on!

[The Falconzord takes the place of the missing section of track.  As soon as the train hits
it, the uneven surface causes it to fly into the air and crash into an abandoned
warehouse.]

TOMMY:  Good luck, kids.

---

IVAN (attacking the Megazord):  Haiiii-yah!

[The Megazord somersaults to safety, then turns and blocks another attack with the
sword, causing the sword to explode.]

AISHA:  The Power Sword has been destroyed!  What a rip-off!

[Ivan punches the Megazord in the face several times, then grabs it by its neck.]

ADAM:  Micropressure's dropping!

ROCKY:  Negative helm control!

AISHA:  What?

ADAM:  Those are bad things.

KIM:  Tommy, we need your help!

TOMMY (in Falconzord):  Hey, that's what I like to hear!

[Ivan holds the Megazord over his head.]

KIM:  Everybody hang on!

BILLY:  A shame we don't have seatbelts.

IVAN:  Next stop, Angel Grove First National.

ROCKY:  Hey, cool.  I had to deposit my paycheck anywa--

[Ivan hurls the Megazord toward the bank.]

BILLY:  Brace for impact!

[The Megazord smashes through the bank and goes out the other side.  The Rangers grunt
and groan.]

BILLY:  All systems are down!

ROCKY:  And there's money everywhere!

KIM:  Tommy, get your butt down here!

TOMMY (in Falconzord):  Hey, that's what I like to hear even more!

[The Falconzord lands on the prone Megazord's back.]

TOMMY:  Ninja Falcon Megazord!  Or is that Ninja Megafalconzord?  Oh, whatever!
(rides his seat into the Megazord cockpit)  All right, guys, let's get Ooze outta here before
he destroys more abandoned buildings.

BILLY:  I'll set a course for outer space.

TOMMY:  Good idea.  I'll sit here and look powerful.

ALL:  Let's do it!

[Megazord lifts off and flies into the sky.]

IVAN (sprouting wings):  Hey, come back here!  Stop luring me into space!  (leaps into
the air)

---

[At the construction site, the parents hop in the direction of a cliff.]

PARENTS (chanting):  Leap to our doom...  Leap to our doom...  Leap to our doom...
Leap to our doom...  Leap to our doom...

[The kids run into the construction site.]

KID1:  It's our parents!  And they're leaping to their doom!

[Fred looks over the edge of the cliff and spies some machinery.]

FRED (to kids):  You guys try and stop them.  (to Bulk and Skull)  And you two come
with me.

BULK:  Yes, tell us what we must do, young Kelman...

SKULL:  You're our only hope.

[Bulk and Skull follow Fred, and the other kids try unsuccessfully to hold their parents
back.]

---

[Megazord flies into space, pursued by Ivan.]

BILLY:  Guys, I think I know a way to get rid of Ivan.

ADAM:  Really, how?

BILLY:  Well, we knee him in the groin and--

TOMMY:  Billy, that's brilliant!

KIM:  What?

TOMMY:  I said, "Billy, that's brilliant!"

BILLY:  No, wait, I wasn't done...  After we knee him in the groin, he flies into the path
of Ryan's Comet, mentioned in the beginning of the movie.

AISHA:  And kaboom!  He's space dust.

TOMMY:  All right, guys, let's do it!  Wait, no - no time for that now!  We've got a groin
to knee!

---

[The kids still fail at stopping their parents.]

KID1:  We can't hold 'em back.

KID2:  Oh well.

[The chanting parents near the cliff, almost pushing the struggling kids off in their
attempt to leap to their dooms.  Suddenly, Fred rises from the cliff in a bucket lift, armed
with a hose.]

KID3:  Hey, wow!  A big hose!  What's that gonna do?  Remove the brainwashing?

FRED (looking down at the hose and shrugging):  No...

KID3:  So... it pushes them back away from the cliff...?

FRED:  No, I just thought it'd be fun to drench our parents with a hose one last time.  (to
Bulk and Skull below)  Turn it on!

[Bulk, below, turns on the water.  Fred drenches the parents and kids.]

---

[Megazord and Ivan pass over the moon palace, where Rita and Zedd's "Greetings from
Angel Grove" snow globe lies on a railing.]

RITA (in chipmunk voice):  Well, if it isn't that morphological being fused with an
Ectomorphicon titan...

ZEDD:  I hope those Rangers lure that lousy lowlife into the path of an oncoming comet!
Go Rangers!

RITA:  Go Rangers!

ZEDD AND RITA:  Go Rangers!

TOMMY (looking down at the moon and waving):  Thank you, we will.

[Megazord continues flying through space, pursued by Ivan.]

BILLY:  We're approaching the comet's coordinates.

TOMMY:  All right, guys, this is it.  We'll just sit right here as the comet screams toward
us.

[Ivan slams into the Megazord, squeezing it in his arms.  Ivan whoops and hollars.]

ADAM:  Micropressure's in the red!  (looks up)  Man, I wish I had another task besides
watching the stupid micropressure gauge.

BILLY:  Bearing zero-zero-nine.  We're right in the comet's trajectory!  We need to break
free!

AISHA:  Right!  Time to bust some robotic tes--

KIM:  Wait!  How does a robotic body feel any pain from being kneed?

AISHA (breaking the glass on the "For Emergency Use Only" case, revealing a big red
button):  Who cares?  (mashes the button)

[Megazord knees Ivan in the groin.]

IVAN:  Oomph!  (releases Megazord and flies back, groaning)

TOMMY:  Ha ha!  Looooooser!

BILLY:  Hey, I didn't know Ryan's Comet was so small, and that it passed so close to
Earth, and that it was on fire... Hey, that's not even a real comet!  It's a lousy special
effect!

TOMMY:  We'd better get outta here before the lousy special effect shockwaves hit us.

ALL:  Right!

[Megazord flies away.]

IVAN (seeing the comet streaking for him):  Hey, that's not even a real com--

[The comet strikes Ivan, blowing him apart in a fiery explosion.]

---

[As Fred sprays the parents, a bright light flashes through the construction site.  The
parents wake up from their transes.  Everyone rejoices.]

FRED (smiling):  Yeah.

BULK (trying to hug Skull):  Skull!

SKULL (putting up his hand):  Bulk.  (extends his hand for a handshake instead)

BULK:  Hey, why are we always the ones dealing with homophobia?  Why don't any of
the Ranger guys ever try to hug each other?

SKULL:  Because the message here is that males trying to hug is something only reserved
for buffoons.

BULK:  Ah, of course!

FRED (spotting Mr. Kelman in the crowd):  Dad!

MR. KELMAN:  Fred?!

FRED (waving):  Dad!  Over here, you idiot!

[Mr. Kelman makes his way through the crowd.  Fred gets out of the bucket lift, and they
hug.]

MR. KELMAN:  I love you, son.

FRED:  I love you too, Dad.  ...But you're still an idiot.

---

[The Rangers materialize in the Command Center and remove their helmets, then rush
over to Zordon's bed of crystals.]

AISHA:  Alpha!  Oh, by the way, how's that blue guy?  (snaps her fingers as she thinks)
...Zordon!  That's it.

ALPHA:  I'm afraid Zordon died a few minutes before you could get here.  His heart just
couldn't take the suspense.

[Zordon lies motionless with his eyes closed.]

BILLY:  Too late?

KIM (whimpering):  This can't be happening.  No one dies in Power Rangers!

[The Rangers are sad.  Suddenly, Tommy looks up, inspired.]

TOMMY:  Remember what we learned?  To those who possess ancient power from a
planet named Phaedos, all things are possible.

ROCKY:  Huh?

TOMMY:  We'll combine our powers to call Dulcea and have her take over for the old
man.

ZORDON (whispering out of the corner of his mouth):  You mean, combine your powers
to ressurect the old man.

TOMMY:  Okay, that'll work too.

[The Rangers form a circle around Zordon's bed of crystals, hold out their arms touching
fingertip-to-fingertip, and close their eyes.]

KIM (thinking):  I hope Zordon's okay.

AISHA (thinking):  I wonder if the mall survived Ivan's attack.

TOMMY (thinking):  Whoooooaaaa!

ROCKY (thinking):  Man, I sure could stand to go to Ernie's right about now.

BILLY (thinking):  Good thing our parents don't care we were missing for a day.

ADAM (thinking):  I'm a frog.

[Specks of light float through the air as the Rangers' animal symbols emerge from their
chests and converge on Zordon.  The Rangers open their eyes as the specks of light fill
the Command Center and repair everything.]

TOMMY:  It's snowing!

[The specks flood into Zordon's chest.  Zordon gasps as his eyes suddenly open.]

ZORDON:  My god!  I forgot to pay the phone bill!

[The Command Chamber's lights come back on, and Zordon's head again appears in his
tube.]

ALL:  Zordon!

ZORDON:  Rangers...!

ALPHA:  He's alive!  And he's no longer annoyingly corporeal!

KIM (on the verge of tears):  We thought that you had...

ZORDON:  Of course not.  I just wanted you to infuse me with the Great Power so I
could have access to it.  It's all part of my sinister plan to stockpile an enormous amount
of energy for my hostile takeover of the universe.

[Alpha scratches "Great Power" off the spiral notepad in his hands.  Next on the list is
"Zeo Crystal."]

KIM:  What?

ZORDON:  Uh, that is...  It is good to see you again too.  (looks at the smiling Rangers
fondly)

---

[Bulk and Skull are amongst a large crowd of people at night.  A sign reads "Celebration
Tonight".]

BULK:  Hey, check out that sign, Skull!  Maybe that's what all these people are doing
here!

SKULL:  Whoa.

BULK (to the crowd):  Anyway, we were awesome!

SKULL (to the crowd):  Incredible!

BULK:  Brilliant!  The parents of Angel Grove were hopping madly toward the cliff...

SKULL:  And then Fred made the call.

BULK:  We knew at that moment that we had to turn on the water.

[Nearby, the Rangers eat dinner at an outdoor restaurant.]

ROCKY (shoving food into his mouth):  Mmmm... Australian food...

[Fred climbs up to join the Rangers.]

FRED:  Hey, guys.

TOMMY:  H-hey, Fred.  (knocks his fist against Fred's)

KIM:  Hey.  Rumor has it you're a pansy and you like to play with dolls.

AISHA:  Kids can be so cruel.

FRED:  Yeah, well, I found out who started the rumor, and I sent the punk to the hospital.

TOMMY (laughs):  That's my man!  (rubs Fred's head)

FRED (after clutching his scalp in pain):  It's like what you taught me about martial arts:
beat the hell out of anyone who gets on your nerves.

AISHA:  Hey, speaking of beating the hell out of people, I heard you're in line to be a
Ranger yourself one of these days.

FRED:  Nah, that's impossible.

AISHA:  I know.  I was just making conversation.

[Everyone looks at the fireworks in the sky.]

KIM:  Wooooo!

ROCKY:  Whoa, check it out!  Big flashy thingies!

[They all walk over to the railing and watch the show.]

TOMMY (laughs):  Yeah!

KIM:  Wooooo!

FRED:  Cool!  I like the way that sounds!  I think I'll try it!  Wooooo!

AISHA:  Wooooo!

FRED:  All right!  That's the way, Aisha!

AISHA:  Hee hee, that's so much fun!

TOMMY:  I don't believe it.

KIM:  Aw, c'mon, Tommy... just try it!

TOMMY:  No.

KIM:  C'mon... like this...  Wooooo!

TOMMY:  How about this... Yeah!!

KIM:  I like this better... Wooooo!

FRED:  Hey, let's try both!  Wooooo!  Yeah!!

[Droplets of purple rain begin to fall from the sky.]

FRED (upon tasting the rain):  Mmm... grape!  Hey guys, it's raining jam!

[The Rangers all hold out their tongues and drink some.]

BILLY:  Wait a minute, this isn't jam!  It's ooze!

[The Rangers look down as their stomachs begin to squirm.]

SONG:  Uh oh, we're in trouble!

[The end.]


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