TURBO: A POWER RANGERS PARODY
The Rewrite
by Joe Rovang
 

Please don't read this if you haven't seen the movie.

Oh yes, all of this belongs to Saban. This being a parody, I doubt I have to say that, but I did anyway just for good measure.


* OUTER SPACE *

[Text scrolls off into the distance like the introduction to Star Wars. ZORDON's voice reads the exposition, which explains nothing the audience couldn't have figured out for itself during the movie. The camera tilts down to the planet LIARIA.]

---

* LIARIAN JUNGLE *

[A gloved hand prepares to fire an armed crossbow.]

PIRANATRON1 (to camera): Be vewy vewy quiet. I'm hunting wizard.

[PIRANATRON1 releases the arrow, which flies through the jungle. The arrow strikes the ground near a gnome-like being called LERIGOT. LERIGOT runs around the jungle for several minutes, pursued by PIRANATRON1 and PIRANATRON2 on alien horses. PIRANATRON1 and PIRANATRON2 soon catch up to LERIGOT.]

PIRANATRON1: Aha! We've got you now, wizard! Give us your magical key which will supposedly allow our leader, the evil lady-pirate Divatox, to release her fiancee, the lava monster Maligore, from his volcano prison on the lost island of Muranthias!

PIRANATRON2: Zordon already said that in the opening. You're wasting time!

PIRANATRON1 (shrugging): So what?

[While the PIRANATRONS are distracted, LERIGOT vanishes in a swirling mass of glitter which eats up the special effects budget.]

---

* AQUITAR *

[Scene cut due to time constraints.]

---

* MARTIAL ARTS ARENA *

[TOMMY, ADAM, and ROCKY practice martial arts in the ring while their COACH below yells at them.]

COACH: Come on, Rocky! You can do better than that!

[ROCKY falls down for no apparent reason.]

---

* INTERIOR OF BUS *

[KAT and TANYA lead the bus-full of orphans in a chorus of "99 Bottles of Slime on the Wall." JUSTIN mopes and refuses to sing. KAT notices something wrong with JUSTIN and bends down beside him.]

KAT: What's wrong, Justin?

JUSTIN: I'm sad because I'm an orphan.

KAT: It's okay to be an orphan, Justin, but there's no reason to be sad. You just have to bury your feelings deep inside and ignore your problems. That's the reason I'm not bothered by getting stuck with these demeaningly short shorts.

JUSTIN: Wow, Kat, you're so smart. In fact, you're perfect in every way!

KAT (smiling): I know.

---

* MARTIAL ARTS ARENA *

ADAM: Maybe the coach is right. Maybe we _are_ trying too hard.

ROCKY: Or maybe we should exhaust ourselves to the point of injury!

[ROCKY does a spinning kick, defies the laws of physics, and flies out of the ring, smashing to the ground in agony.]

COACH: You call that a kick?

ROCKY: Oh, man, I'm so stupid!

TOMMY: That's kind of a given if you ask Saban for a raise.

[KAT, TANYA, JUSTIN and the other orphans rush in.]

JUSTIN: That was cool!

KAT: Yes, but shh... you'll hurt Rocky's feelings.

TANYA (watching Rocky get carted off): Yikes, I'll hate to see how we get written out...

---

* INTERIOR OF DIVATOX'S SUBMARINE *

[DIVATOX enters.]

DIVATOX: Idiots!! You let Lerigot escape!

ELGAR (pointing at the Piranatrons): It was all their fault!

[DIVATOX slices ELGAR'S robotic hand off.]

ELGAR: Aw, man, not again!

RYGOG: Good thing she aimed higher this time.

DIVATOX: Quiet, both of you! You're giving me a headache!!

[The phone rings. DIVATOX answers it.]

RITA (on the phone): Quit stealing my lines!

[DIVATOX hangs up.]

DIVATOX: Anyway, I have a plan. Once we take away the one thing he values most in the world, Lerigot will come to us willingly.

ELGAR: You're gonna kidnap his family?

DIVATOX: Ooh, even better!

---

* AFRICAN JUNGLE *

[LERIGOT crash lands in the jungle, creating a massive explosion which kills hundreds of nearby animals. Once the dust settles, LERIGOT stumbles upon a lion. He holds out his hand. The lion steps forward to be friendly, but LERIGOT electrocutes its nose. The Lion runs away and comes back moments later with ten more lions. LERIGOT promptly gets mauled.]

---

* POWER CHAMBER *

[ALPHA, in a new shiny body, paces around the POWER CHAMBER.]

ALPHA: Ay yi yi! Zordon, where are you?

ZORDON (popping into his tube): Uh, Zeo Crystal? What Zeo Crystal?

ALPHA: Lerigot has arrived on Earth!

ZORDON: Hmm, Lerigot can only survive on Earth for the length of a movie. Something must be terribly wrong.

---

* HOSPITAL ROOM *

[ROCKY lies in a hospital bed. JUSTIN enters quietly, carrying ROCKY's pink slip. JUSTIN hears the teens coming and dives under the bed. TOMMY, ADAM, TANYA, and KAT enter with balloons.]

ADAM (letting the balloons bounce against the ceiling): Hey, Rocky. We, being your fellow Power Rangers, brought you some decorations.

ROCKY (laughing for no reason, probably doped up on painkillers): Ha ha ha! Decorations - that's a good one.

TANYA: Hey, the doctor told us you were going to make a full recovery. (pauses) What the hell? Full recovery? (checks script) What kind of closure is that?

ROCKY: I'm just upset I won't be able to smash some heads with you guys, my fellow Power Rangers, in the competition.

ADAM: No big loss. We'll just fight without you. If we don't, the shelter will close down forever, and all the orphans will be sold into slave labor.

KAT: Yeah. Justin's taking this pretty hard. He's an orphan, you know.

[The Rangers' communicators beep. TOMMY answers his communicator.]

TOMMY: This is Tommy. Go ahead.

ZORDON'S VOICE: Power Rangers, a powerful wizard has arrived on Earth, and his rapidly dropping vital signs tell me he may be in danger. You must come to the Power Chamber so that I can repeat what I just told you.

ROCKY (to Rangers): You heard him! Get lost!

TOMMY: Come on, Power Rangers, let's go!

ADAM: We'll let you know what's up.

TANYA: Yeah, as soon as the TV series starts.

ROCKY: Be careful going to the Power Chamber.

KAT: We will.

[TOMMY, ADAM, TANYA, and KAT teleport in an unusually bright teleportation sequence.]

[The Rangers fly through the night sky as bolts of energy.]

[JUSTIN crawls out from under the bed.]

ROCKY: Oh no! Justin! You heard that we're the Power Rangers!

[JUSTIN blinks.]

JUSTIN: You guys are the Power Rangers?

---

* POWER CHAMBER *

ADAM: Hey, how'd Alpha get all shiny?

TANYA: And what happened to the gallery of Ranger suits?

ZORDON: There is more pressing business to attend to. A powerful wizard named Lerigot has arrived on Earth. He has taken great pains to hide his exact location, which either means someone's after him, or he's trying to avoid the media. You must go to central Africa and locate him.

ADAM: All right, Tommy needs to go because he's the leader. And Kat needs to go to give Tommy a reason to do daring stunts. But Tanya and I don't need to go, so we'll just wait here and track mysterious flying submarines.

KAT: But Tanya lived in Africa for--

ZORDON: Equip yourselves with the Power Boxes. The Turbo Nav-- I mean, short-range locators will lead you straight to Lerigot.

KAT: I thought you said he took great pains to hide his location.

ZORDON: Equip yourselves with the Power Boxes!

[A door opens, and TOMMY and KAT go in and strap on the red and pink POWER BOXES.]

TOMMY: Ah, good ol' Power Boxes. They've come in handy so many times.

KAT: When have we ever...?

ZORDON: Good luck, Rangers, and may the power protect you.

[TOMMY and KAT teleport.]

---

* AFRICAN JUNGLE *

[LERIGOT stumbles drunkenly through the jungle, apparently hoping to find Zordon in Africa. A chimp, having heard about LERIGOT's unwarranted attack on the lion earlier in the movie, hurls a rock at LERIGOT, rendering the ugly alien unconscious. A large crowd of chimps gathers around LERIGOT and carries his body away to sacrifice him to the prophesied chimp gods "Bulk" and "Skull."]

---

* INTERIOR OF DIVATOX'S SUBMARINE *

RYGOG: I've found Lerigot! He's on Earth!

DIVATOX: How fiendishly clever of him to flee to the planet where I was going to take him in the first place! Once we capture Lerigot, I'll have him free my fiancee Maligore!

ELGAR: But Zordon already explained that...

DIVATOX: Prepare to teleport!

RYGOG: Prepare to teleport!

ELGAR: Preparing to teleport!

[ELGAR pushes the button labeled "teleport" in English. The sub turns into energy and teleports to Earth.]

---

* BASEBALL STADIUM *

[LT. STONE meets up with BULK and SKULL.]

LT. STONE: It's a good thing we're police officers again.

SKULL: But I thought--

BULK: Quiet, nimrod!

SKULL: What about--

BULK: Shhh!

LT. STONE: As your first assignment back on the force, I want you boys to drive aimlessly around the city tonight.

SKULL: Wait, I thought it _was_ nighttime already. I mean, this is the only daytime scene in this part of the movie!

BULK (to Lt. Stone): You can count on us, Sir!

---

* AFRICAN JUNGLE *

[TOMMY and KAT walk through the jungle, following the vultures in the sky to LERIGOT as TOMMY plays video games on his TURBO NAVIGATOR.]

KAT (looking around): Wow, reminds me of parts of Australia. Except more Africa-ish.

---

* POWER CHAMBER *

[TANYA watches a monitor as DIVATOX's sub approaches the Earth.]

TANYA: Hey, remember that object we've been tracking?

ADAM: No.

TANYA: Well, then, I'm picking up an object!

ADAM: Don't strain yourself.

TANYA: No, on the tracking system! It's entering our atmosphere!

ZORDON: It is likely the reason Lerigot has come here.

ADAM: I sure hope Tommy and Kat get back soon. We can't do anything by ourselves.

---

* ANGEL GROVE SUBURBS, NIGHTTIME *

[BULK and SKULL are at a stop sign in their patrol bike when a light in the sky comes toward them. They try to escape, running over a mime in the process. They finally crash into a conveniently-placed bait shop. A mysterious UFO hovers above and shines a bright light on them.]

[BULK and SKULL's screaming is interrupted when the UFO emits the tune from _Close Encounters of the Third Kind_. BULK and SKULL sigh with relief.]

[Suddenly, DIVATOX's sub flies up, shoots down the UFO, and beams BULK and SKULL aboard.]

---

* AFRICAN JUNGLE *

KAT: Tommy, do you mind if we stop for a minute beside this dangerous cliff?

TOMMY: "Stop?" Are you okay?

KAT: Yeah, it's just hot out here.

TOMMY: I know. Remind me to ask wardrobe why I'm wearing a flannel shirt. (turns his back to her) Oh, here, you want some water?

[KAT removes an extremely tiny canteen from his Power Box and pours the few drops of water into her mouth.]

KAT (handing him the empty canteen): Gee, thanks, that hit the spot. I think I'll sit down for a minute.

[KAT turns to sit on a log, deliberately pointing her rear toward the camera in the process. TOMMY then gazes lustfully at KAT for a moment before noticing the enormous python behind her.]

TOMMY: Don't move. When I say three, jump away.

KAT: Make up your mind!

TOMMY: Three!

[KAT jumps away, flinging herself over the cliff. She manages to grab a branch, saving herself. While TOMMY wrestles a rubber python, KAT struggles to summon her ZEONIZERS. The branch breaks, and KAT falls. In midair, she brings her ZEONIZERS together.]

KAT (falling): Zeo Ranger I, Pink!

[KAT hits the water after morphing only partially, shorting out her morph. Treading water, KAT examines her ZEONIZERS.]

KAT: "Water _resistant_!" What a crock!

[Up above, TOMMY casually tosses the rubber python aside and leaps off the cliff, doing a spectacular somersaulting dive.]

KAT: I could do that.

TOMMY (swimming toward Kat): I'll save you, Kat!

[TOMMY reaches KAT and pulls her to safety, accidentally dunking her underwater a few times in the process. They both climb out of the water.]

KAT (whining): My leg! My leg...

TOMMY: Is it broken?

KAT: No, I've got a huge gash in it!

TOMMY (gathering some sticks): I can splint it for you.

KAT: It's not broken!

TOMMY (removing his shoelaces): I'll splint it good as new.

[KAT sighs.]

---

* INTERIOR OF DIVATOX'S SUBMARINE *

ELGAR (to Divatox): Just as you ordered, I've collected two humans and scrambled their brains for comic relief.

[BULK and SKULL stand nearby, staring into space.]

DIVATOX: Wonderful! Now go find two humans to sacrifice to Maligore!

---

* AFRICAN JUNGLE *

[TOMMY helps KAT as she limps through the jungle. They spy a crowd of chimps carrying LERIGOT.]

KAT: Aw, look at the cute little chimps... (gasps) My god, what's that they're carrying??

[The chimps drop LERIGOT. LERIGOT begins to stir, making disgusting gurgling sounds.]

KAT: A hairy demon! He must be what's after Lerigot! (pulls out a nozzle from her Power Box) Eat liquid fire, hellspawn!!

[KAT sprays LERIGOT with fire, incinerating him.]

TOMMY: Kat, no!! I think that _was_ Lerigot!

[KAT blinks.]

KAT: Oops. We'll have to use the Time Reversal Devices in our Power Boxes to undo this mess!

TOMMY: Good thinking!

[TOMMY and KAT reach into POWER BOXES and activate devices which send them back in time one minute. LERIGOT is again carried in by the chimps and thrown to the ground. LERIGOT gurgles and slowly stands.]

TOMMY: Lerigot!

[KAT sits on a log next to LERIGOT. She clears her throat and points to the gash in her leg. LERIGOT takes the hint and uses magic glitter to heal her wound, consuming more of the special effects budget.]

KAT (removing the splint): My leg! It's healed!

TOMMY: Thanks to my splint, no doubt.

[LERIGOT looks up at the sun and keels over.]

TOMMY: We'd better get him to the Power Chamber.

[TOMMY and KAT pick up LERIGOT, and the three of them teleport away.]

---

* OFFSHORE FROM ANGEL GROVE, DAWN *

[Two scuba divers prepare to enter the water from their raft. Nearby, a periscope watches.]

---

* INTERIOR OF DIVATOX'S SUBMARINE *

DIVATOX (looking through the periscope as the divers enter the water): What do you know... Elgar, cancel that request for sacrifices! We've got two headed our way right now!

ELGAR (in the rear of the sub): But... (sighs and teleports Aisha and Billy back home)

---

* UNDERWATER *

[The two scuba divers swim underwater, looking at rocks. They are captured by a swimming PIRANATRON.]

---

* INTERIOR OF DIVATOX'S SUBMARINE *

[DIVATOX looks at the two unconscious scuba divers lying on the floor.]

DIVATOX: Two perfect specimins worthy of feeding my fiancee. Throw them into the giant freezer, where they'll stay fresh for my beloved Maligore!

RYGOG: Uh, we took the giant freezer out.

[DIVATOX blinks.]

ELGAR: We could throw 'em into the bilge.

DIVATOX: Yes, let's!

[The unconscious scuba divers fall through a trap door and splash into the bilge below.]

DIVATOX: And now's let's reel in that little runt Lerigot. Remove the mind block. We'll use his precious wife Yara to contact him.

ELGAR (as a Piranatron removes the device from Yara's head and leaves a device on baby Betelle's head): Why didn't we reel Lerigot in _before_ he made it to the Power Chamber and got Zordon's help?

DIVATOX: Quiet, fool!

---

* POWER CHAMBER *

[LERIGOT lies in the bioscanner while the Rangers stand nearby. LERIGOT begins to make more disgusting gurgling noises.]

TOMMY: What's wrong with him?

ZORDON: He is receiving a transmission. I'll put it on the Viewing Globe.

[DIVATOX appears on the Viewing Globe.]

DIVATOX: Hi, I'm Divatox. Me being the new villain, I have taken it upon myself to kidnap Lerigot's wife and child. I will kill them unless you bring me Lerigot. Oh yes, I also have your old friends Jason and Kimberly.

TANYA: And you'll only set them free if we give you Lerigot?

DIVATOX: Uh... yeah, that's it!

[The PIRANATRON in the monitor puts the mind block back on YARA's head, ending the transmission.]

LERIGOT (gurgling): Yara!

ADAM: Don't worry, Lerigot. I'm sure she'll be fine. Our villains never do anything _really_ bad.

---

* BILGE OF DIVATOX'S SUBMARINE *

[JASON and KIMBERLY look around.]

JASON: This really sucks.

KIMBERLY: I'd say. Wish we could morph. Stupid gymnastics!

JASON: It doesn't look like there's any way out, other than that unlocked hatch up there and this large panel in the wall whose bolts can be easily knocked off with a pipe.

[BULK and SKULL peek in from their cell through a porthole in the wall.]

SKULL (in a Spanish accent): Hola.

BULK (in an Austrian accent): We are the comic relief. Laugh at our crazy accents.

[JASON and KIMBERLY laugh at their lobotomized friends.]

---

* POWER CHAMBER *

[LERIGOT and ALPHA communicate with clicking and gurgling noises.]

KAT: They understand each other.

ZORDON: As good friends should.

TOMMY (ignoring Zordon): I don't understand, why would Divatox want Lerigot?

ZORDON: As explained in the narration at the beginning of the movie, Lerigot holds the key to releasing Divatox's fiancee Maligore. According to the script, Divatox will use his Golden Key to pass through the Nemesis Triangle into the Lost Dimension to the island of Muranthias, where she will free her fiancee Maligore.

TANYA: I'm lost. Anyone writing down all these names?

TOMMY: Not to worry. I'm sure our quest won't require any thought on our parts. We don't have to pay attention to any of this!

ALPHA (to Lerigot): What? No!

TANYA (sighing): What is it now?

ALPHA: Lerigot is performing the Liarian prayer of guidance. He is preparing to surrender.

KAT: No! We can't let him do that!

ADAM: It's his family, Kat. We'd do the same for each other.

TANYA: Okay, so we're letting him surrender...?

TOMMY: Okay, listen, we'll get Kim and Jason outta there, then we'll go after Lerigot's family.

TANYA: Wait, so we're _not_ letting Lerigot surrender?

ADAM: Kim and Jason were Power Rangers once. If anyone can get through it, they can.

TOMMY: Come on, Lerigot.

[TANYA sighs in confusion.]

---

* SEASHORE, OVERCAST DAWN *

[The Rangers and LERIGOT teleport onto the rocky cliffs overlooking the shore. Below, DIVATOX's submarine has surfaced and is parked by the shore.]

TANYA: Okay, so we _are_ letting Lerigot surrender...

[PIRANATRONS on waverunners emerge from the submarine, along with ELGAR in a motor-driven raft. They drive up to the shore, and ELGAR gets out.]

ELGAR: Send Lerigot down!

TOMMY: No!

[TANYA gives up at trying to figure out the plan.]

TOMMY: Bring our friends closer first!

ELGAR: That's impossible! I'm afraid your friends aren't quite themselves at the moment. You could say we replaced them with lifeless dummies in an attempt to trick you into surrendering Lerigot!

ADAM: I don't trust him. We should try to stall him until we can figure something out.

[LERIGOT teleports down to the sand below and walks toward ELGAR.]

KAT: Lerigot!! No!

TANYA: That's what you guys get for being so indecisive with your plans.

[ELGAR and the PIRANATRONS ride back out into the ocean with LERIGOT.]

ELGAR: Release the mannequins!

[The PIRANATRONS dump two mannequins overboard. ELGAR and the PIRANATRONS then return to the submarine. The Rangers leap off the cliff and land with a thud in the sand below.]

KAT (collapsing to the ground): My ankle!

[The others run toward the water, leaving KAT behind. KAT whines for a while before realizing no one's paying any attention to her. She then shrugs, gets up, and runs to the water with the others. TOMMY swims to one of the mannequins.]

TOMMY: No! This mannequin's a fake!

ADAM: Come on, Tommy!

TOMMY (swimming to other one): No, I've gotta check the other mannequin!

ADAM: Come on, Tommy! Tommy, come on! Come on! Tommy, come on! Come on, Tommy! Come on! Tommy, come on! Tommy, come on! Come on, Tommy! Tommy! Tommy, come on! Come on, Tommy! Come on!

---

* INTERIOR OF DIVATOX'S SUBMARINE *

DIVATOX (taunting Lerigot from outside his cage): Now, to recap: As soon as we get to the Nemesis Triangle, you use your Golden Key to let us through. Got it?

[LERIGOT gurgles.]

DIVATOX: Good. (yelling) Set a course for the Nemesis Triangle! Full speed ahead!

ELGAR (scratching his head): Why can't we just telepo--?

DIVATOX: Shut up! I still have some recapping to do! Now, once we get to Muranthias, I'll feed those ex-Power Pukes to Maligore!

---

* BILGE OF DIVATOX'S SUBMARINE *

[KIMBERLY listens to DIVATOX through the grating in the ceiling.]

KIMBERLY: Great. We come back to search for sunken treasure to help out the shelter, and we end up as snack food for some monster with the munchies.

JASON: Well, you know, since this _does_ look like the end, I was thinking maybe we could...

KIMBERLY: ...try to escape?

JASON : Oh... (blinks) ...yeah. That'd work too.

---

* POWER CHAMBER *

[The Rangers are busy at the controls.]

TOMMY (pacing through the Power Chamber): Level stabilizers off 8.40. Full throttle on the power output.

ADAM: Tommy, all we have to do is push the "Execute" button, and the Power Chamber makes them for us from the designs Billy sent us.

TOMMY: Oh. Well, full throttle on the "execute" button!

ZORDON: The Zords you are now creating will possess the power to carry you safely on your quest through the Nemesis Triangle to rescue Lerigot, his family, and our friends. They will serve you well for exactly one season.

[Large sliding doors leading into the exhaust-filled Power Chamber garage open, and the Rangers walk in.]

ZORDON: Behold your new Turbozords.

TANYA: They're just ordinary cars.

ZORDON: Well, yes, but don't tell the audience that.

TOMMY: So what do they do?

ZORDON: Well, you drive them around. And you can assemble them into the Turbo Megazord, conveniently the most powerful Zord ever created.

TOMMY: You're just saying that to boost our confidence, aren't you?

ZORDON: Yes.

[ADAM's TURBOZORD drives forward and flashes its lights.]

ZORDON: Adam, Desert Thunder will be yours to command.

ADAM: I'm a frog. And I drive a van.

DULCEA (off-screen): Yes, a van. The kind you kiss, to... uh...

[KAT's TURBOZORD drives forward and flashes its lights.]

ZORDON: Katherine, yours is called Wind Chaser.

[TANYA's TURBOZORD drives forward and flashes its lights.]

ZORDON: Tanya, you will pilot the Dune Star and speak in a southern accent while doing so.

[TOMMY's TURBOZORD drives forward and flashes its lights.]

ZORDON: And Tommy, Red Lightning will serve you well. (to all) You must all think up atrocious puns relating to the names of your Turbozords.

TOMMY: Red Lightning, ready to strike a tree!

ADAM: What about Rocky's Turbozord?

[In the main chamber, JUSTIN enters in the Blue Turbo Ranger suit, his helmet under his arm.]

JUSTIN: Hi g--

[ALPHA covers JUSTIN's mouth and shoves him offstage.]

ZORDON (to Rangers in garage): We have a replacement who will drive the Mountain Blaster, but I'll wait a few moments after you leave to cut him loose. That way you'll meet him in a setting much more exciting and suspenseful than the Power Chamber, and you won't have a chance to complain to me about my decision.

[A big Simon table appears from the excessive smoke in the garage.]

ZORDON: Before you are your new Turbo Morphers, five keys similar to Lerigot's Golden Key. Individually, use them to activate your powers and Zords and to tighten screws and bolts when no screwdrivers are handy. But together, and only together, will they allow you to pass safely through the Nemesis Triangle. Now step forward and touch your destinies, or something like that.

TOMMY (examining his Turbo Morpher and key): What does "Copyright 1997 Bandai" mean?

ZORDON: Shut up and touch it.

[The Rangers touch the TURBO MORPHERS and are electrocuted. The Rangers are suited up in their TURBO RANGER suits.]

TOMMY: Wow, I've never felt anything like this! Well, except for the time I got the Green Ranger powers, when I got the Green Ranger powers again, when I got the White Ranger powers, when I got the White Ninja powers, and when I got the Zeo Five powers. (looks down) Actually, this is kind of a let-down. I mean, we go from being powered by the most powerful object in the universe to being powered by cars...

ZORDON: Well, if you don't like the Turbo powers, I can always take them back and let you stop Divatox without powers...

TOMMY: Hey, these new Turbo powers are fantastic!

KAT: Wow, this is great!

TANYA: All right!

ADAM: This is awesome!

TOMMY: Whoa, this is incredible!

TANYA: Yeah!

ZORDON: All right, enough. I know sarcasm when I hear it.

[The Rangers walk into the main chamber.]

ZORDON: Rangers, you will drive your new cars around in the desert for the entire day, impressing all the viewers with your new toys. Then, at nightfall, you will take the Turbozords to the sea, where you will find the Ghost Galleon, a phantom ship which will take you and the Zords through the Nemesis Triangle.

ALPHA: You must merge the power of your keys the moment you cross into the Triangle.

[The Rangers stare off into the distance, losing consciousness amidst the slew of instructions.]

ZORDON: The combined power of your keys and the galleon will see you through safely. Neither your ship nor your Zords will be detectable by Divatox. Of course, your bodies will still be detectable, but that's a minor technicality.

TOMMY (shaking the cobwebs from his head): What, Zordon?

ZORDON: Nothing. Good luck, and may the Power protect you.

TOMMY: All right, guys, let's power up!

KAT: We're already morphed.

TOMMY: Let's power down!

---

* DESERT, MID-MORNING *

[The TURBOZORDS race across the desert. Cutaway to unmorphed Rangers in cockpits.]

TOMMY: Oh man, this is awesome.

ZORDON (over the intercom): I said enough of that.

TOMMY: All right, guys, initiate witty catch phrases!

ADAM: Desert Thunder, no relation to Desert Storm!

KAT: Wind Chaser, ready to blow!

TANYA: Dune Stah's gonna shahn!

TOMMY: Red Lightning, ready to cause a power outage!

ADAM: All systems go, Tommy.

TOMMY: All right! Shift into ludicrous speed!

[The film is sped up, and the TURBOZORDS tear off through the desert at high speed.]

---

* POWER CHAMBER *

[ZORDON speaks to a new BLUE RANGER who is only shown from the neck-down.]

ZORDON: By accepting this honor, you are also accepting a great responsibility. I will tell you what that responsibility is as soon as I think of it. As the newest Ranger, you must take your lead from the others and-- On second thought, all you need to do is morph once and you'll know everything there is to know. You will command the Mountain Blaster and be henceforth known as Binky. Ah, I mean Blue Ranger. Now go, and may the Power protect you.

---

* INTERIOR OF DIVATOX'S SUBMARINE, NIGHTTIME *

ELGAR (poking Lerigot with a stick through the cell bars): Uh, I think it's dying.

DIVATOX: No! It has to survive long enough to allow us to pass through the Nemesis Triangle and--

ELGAR: We know your plan! Sheesh, you'd think we were brain-dead with the amount of exposition in this movie...

---

* DOCK, NIGHTTIME *

[The Rangers drive up and get out of their TURBOZORDS. They look around the dock, which is filled with crates and cobwebs.]

TANYA: You guys, I hear the ocean, but, uh, I don't see the ship.

TOMMY: I'll take a look up ahead. I think I found it.

[An enormous conspicuously-backlit galleon is seen directly in front of the Rangers. It couldn't be more obvious.]

KAT (gasping): The Ghost Galleon! It's amazing!

TOMMY (spotting lights approaching from the direction they came): Hey, guys, check it out.

[The MOUNTAIN BLASTER drives up and someone gets out.]

ADAM: Rocky? My god, your legs have shrunk!

JUSTIN (shutting the door): Wow, cool.

TANYA: Justin! What are you doing here dressed in blue and driving the Mountain Blaster?

JUSTIN: I found out your identities with dumb luck rather than with my intelligence, sparing the audience worthless characterization!

ADAM: What are you talking about?

JUSTIN: Guys, I'm the new Blue Ranger! Isn't that cool or what?

KAT: I choose "what."

JUSTIN: Rocky sent me in his place instead of killing me when I learned your identities! Alpha forged me a license and some insurance. So, what are we doing here?

TOMMY: Look, we'll ditch y-- I mean, talk about this later. Right now we need to get these cars on that ship.

JUSTIN: How?

TOMMY: Well, we'll close our eyes, and when we cut to the next scene, they'll magically be onboard the ship.

---

* LOWER DECK OF GHOST GALLEON *

TOMMY: Okay, everybody onboard?

KAT: Yep, we're all here.

TANYA: All... (shudders) ...five of us.

TOMMY: All right. Let's go upstairs and mess with any mysterious boxes we can find.

---

* UPPER DECK OF CABIN *

[The Rangers explore the ship.]

JUSTIN: Hey you guys! I found a mysterious box!

TANYA: We'd better open it.

[KAT opens the box, revealing five keyholes.]

TOMMY: Everyone insert your keys and see what happens!

[The Rangers insert their keys and turn them. Light radiates from the box.]

ADAM: Hey, the compass is moving! That must mean something important!

[The galleon prepares itself.]

TANYA: And the sails... they're all raising--

KAT: ...raising by themselves!

TANYA (to Kat): Thanks. I couldn't have completed--

KAT: ...completed that sentence on your own?

[Mighty RAW music pumps in the background as we see the galleon sailing across the ocean the next morning. The Rangers pose dramatically as the ship goes by the camera.]

---

* INTERIOR OF DIVATOX'S SUBMARINE *

DIVATOX (gazing into her hand mirror): Mirror, mirror, in my hand, who's the hottest in the land?

[An image of ARCHERINA forms in the mirror.]

DIVATOX: Grrr!!

[The image changes to DIVATOX.]

DIVATOX (grinning): That's much better.

[Alarms begin to squeal.]

DIVATOX: Hell's bel-- Oop, I mean, "Goodness gracious! Whatever can be the matter?"

ELGAR (manning the scanners): Sensors detect the presence of five humans, but no vessel!

DIVATOX (approaching Elgar): Five humans, eh? Hmm...

ELGAR: Here, I'll repeat what I just said, and you'll suddenly know what I'm talking about. _I'm not picking up any vessel!_

DIVATOX: Oh no - Zordon's little Power Pukes, no doubt. Why didn't the radar alert us?

ELGAR: Because you left Porto back home, and he's the only one who knows how to upkeep all this equipment.

DIVATOX: We'll just have to leave the Rangers a few presents to remember us by.

ELGAR: Right!

[ELGAR pushes the button labeled "presents" in English.]

---

* EXTERIOR OF DIVATOX'S SUBMARINE, DAYTIME *

[Several gift-wrapped boxes float to the surface.]

---

* INTERIOR OF DIVATOX'S SUBMARINE *

DIVATOX: That was figurative, you moron!

[DIVATOX pushes button labeled "pods" in English.]

---

* ABOVE WATER *

[With the Ghost Galleon in the background, four pods surface. Over the course of the day, the pods somehow crawl up the side of the galleon and make it onboard.]

---

* UPPER DECK OF GHOST GALLEON, NIGHTTIME *

[JUSTIN looks over the edge of the galleon. KAT comes up from the cabin, nearly tripping over the slimy pod in front of her.]

KAT: Hey, why don't you come down below with us? It's getting pretty cold out here.

JUSTIN: I'm way too excited to sleep. I can't wait to tell everyone I know that I'm a Power Ranger!

[KAT glares at JUSTIN.]

JUSTIN: I know, I know, it's for me to know and them to find out.

KAT (smacking Justin in the back of the head): The point is for them _not_ to find out! Sheesh!

JUSTIN: Yeah, yeah, Rangers' code of honor. I won't tell anybody.

KAT: Good. I'd hate for us to have to kill you.

[Nearby, the pod grows.]

JUSTIN: I guess my dad's still up north. He had to close down his martial arts school when my mom passed away.

KAT: Don't worry, I'm sure it'll only take a few seasons for him to close it down.

JUSTIN: I just want us to be a family again.

KAT: But you have to remember that we're your family too. See, by treating you like our child, we get to show how grown-up and responsible we're becoming.

JUSTIN: ...before all of you get kicked off the show?

KAT (standing up): Go to your room!

[JUSTIN doesn't budge.]

KAT (leaving): Fine, but you'll be sorry if you stay out here. There's a fight scene coming, you know.

JUSTIN: I can fight! It's a prerequisite to discovering the Rangers' identities!

[KAT trips over the enormous pod on her way back downstairs. Soon afterward, the pods begin to hatch into PUTRAPODS.]

---

* CABIN OF GHOST GALLEON *

KAT (sitting back down with the others as they play "Turbo: A Power Rangers Board Game"): He's okay.

TANYA: Oh, good. I thought he would've been sad that he's an orphan.

KAT: Oh, well, yeah. But other than that, he's fine.

---

* UPPER DECK OF GHOST GALLEON *

[The PUTRAPODS sneak up behind JUSTIN. He turns to see the approaching monsters. He tries to scream for help but is too terrified to make a sound.]

---

* CABIN OF GHOST GALLEON *

ADAM (looking up from the board game with a flash of insight): Spider-sense going crazy! (rushes upstairs)

---

* UPPER DECK OF GHOST GALLEON *

ADAM (spotting the Putrapods): Guys! It's time for our fight scene!

TOMMY (rushing upstairs with the others): It's about time!

[The Rangers start fighting the PUTRAPODS. After hitting a PUTRAPOD repeatedly in the head, ADAM discovers that his hands are covered in slime.]

ADAM: You ooze, you... don't win. Heh heh, Billy's got nothing on me.

[One by one, the PUTRAPODS are knocked overboard. Finally, one PUTRAPOD remains. TOMMY starts showing off his martial arts for the monster and ends up flinging himself overboard.]

KAT: Tommy!

TOMMY (from the water): I'll save you, Kat!

[The Rangers shove the PUTRAPOD overboard and then toss TOMMY a rope.]

---

* BILGE OF DIVATOX'S SUBMARINE *

KIM (holding up a pipe proudly): Aha! After only twenty-four hours of hard work, I've managed to craft this fine pipe from nothing more than common household pipe!

JASON: Hey, maybe instead of making weapons we should try to escape...

KIMBERLY: Why's that?

JASON: Well, it's been a solid day since we've eaten or used the restroom.

KIMBERLY: Oh yeah. (pointing upward) Well, there's an unlocked hatch up there.

JASON: I have a better idea. We'll remove this enormous panel leading outside.

KIMBERLY: Wouldn't that mean all the water would come in?

JASON: Well, right now my dive computer says we're at 435 feet.

[JASON then realizes the computer isn't submerged in water. He takes it off and throws it down in disgust.]

JASON: Piece of junk! Anyway, we'll just pop the panel off once we get to Muranthias and the sub starts to surface.

KIMBERLY: Oh, okay.

[JASON begins to smash the bolts off the panel.]

KIMBERLY: I thought we were waiting until we got to Muranthias.

[The water begins to flow in from the sides of the panel.]

JASON: Nevermind that now! Just help me hold back these thousands of tons of water now that we've loosened the hatch way too early!

---

* UPPER DECK OF GHOST GALLEON, DAYTIME *

[The Rangers watch as the galleon approaches a mighty wall of computer-generated darkness, with lightning bolts striking all around it.]

TOMMY: There it is. The Nemesis Triangle.

KAT: It's incredible.

JUSTIN: Yeah, whatever's steering the ship sure knows where to go.

NINJOR (steering the ship with an eyepatch over his visor): Aye!

---

* INTERIOR OF DIVATOX'S SUBMARINE *

[White flashes light up the sub.]

DIVATOX: At long last, we've reached the Nemesis Triangle!

ELGAR: I still don't see why we couldn't have teleported here.

DIVATOX: Shut up!

---

* UPPER DECK OF GHOST GALLEON *

[The Rangers continue to stare at the oncoming wall of darkness.]

KAT: Tell me I'm not seeing things.

ADAM: What? It's still just the Nemesis Triangle. The same one we already gawked at in the last scene. You're just hallucinating.

TOMMY: Hit the deck!!

[The Rangers all dive for the floor. Nothing happens. The Rangers look around, then get back up.]

ADAM: Apparently Tommy is, too.

---

* INTERIOR OF DIVATOX'S SUBMARINE *

[DIVATOX stands outside LERIGOT's cage.]

DIVATOX: Hurry up, wizard! Open the gateway so that I may--

ELGAR: We know!!

[LERIGOT shakes his head.]

DIVATOX: If you don't, I'll have Elgar and Rygog throw your baby around like a football, just like the set crew's been doing between takes.

[LERIGOT gives in. DIVATOX lets him out of his cage, and he concentrates and summons another budget-eating scene which allows DIVATOX's submarine to pass into the LOST DIMENSION.]

---

* BILGE OF DIVATOX'S SUBMARINE *

[The water is now neck-high.]

JASON: We've gotta get this panel off!

KIMBERLY: I thought we were barely keeping it _on_ with our superhuman strength!

JASON: Well, it somehow fused back onto the wall! Now we have to pry it off again!

KIMBERLY: Oh, go get my pipe! It'll save us!

[JASON swims down and retrieves the pipe, then begins to pry off the panel.]

BULK: We go swimming?

JASON (hurling the pipe at Bulk and Skull's porthole): Would you guys shut the hell up!! You lousy--!!

KIMBERLY: Jason! Chill out! Those are the first three words they've said in hours!

[JASON calms down for a moment as foam drips from his mouth.]

JASON (suddenly lunging at the porthole): I'll kill both of you!! (screams in rage)

KIMBERLY (pulling him away from the porthole): No, Jason, our evil scene isn't until later in the movie!

JASON (blinking): Oh. (to Bulk and Skull) So sorry.

DIVATOX (off-screen, from the grating above): Would you losers keep it down in there?! We're taking in water, and I'm trying to figure out where it's coming from! Oh, and knock off all that splashing!

---

* UPPER DECK OF GHOST GALLEON *

ADAM: We're getting closer to the gateway! We need the keys!

KAT: I'll get the keys so the ship goes out of control. You guys go downstairs so none of us can see what's going on.

[The others go down into the cabin. KAT gets the keys and joins them downstairs. She passes out the keys to her fellow Rangers. Just then, a precariously placed barrel full of "Turbo: A Power Rangers Fruit Juice" falls and bumps JUSTIN lightly in the foot, knocking the key out of his hand. The key falls into a crevice.]

JUSTIN (diving after the key): My key! I dropped my key!

TOMMY: Is anyone here surprised that Justin would be the downfall of the Power Rangers?

[The others shake their heads.]

JUSTIN (reaching into the crevice): I can't reach it!

TANYA: I'm not surprised. You've got the shortest arms on the team.

JUSTIN (pulling key out triumphantly): Got it!

[JUSTIN joins the others. They touch their keys together and a surprisingly unimpressive burst of energy fizzles outward from the keys. A wall of computer-generated darkness passes through the cabin as the galleon enters the Lost Dimension.]

---

* BILGE OF DIVATOX'S SUBMARINE *

[The bilge has now filled up almost entirely with water. Underwater, JASON and KIMBERLY remove the panel, then open the unlocked door connecting their room with BULK and SKULL's room. BULK and SKULL swim through, and all four take a breath in the air pocket at the top of the bilge.]

JASON: Okay, here's the plan. (to Bulk and Skull) While you two swim out first, Kim and I will swim down there to watch you go, then we'll follow you without going back up for air. Then, to top it all off, Kim will get her shirt stuck on something on the way out, and I'll have to help her because she's just a girl and can't free her own shirt.

KIMBERLY: And _then_ we go back up for air?

JASON: No. Any air in our lungs would just expand on the way up and probably kill us. If you pass out, don't worry - your body'll float to the top.

[JASON, KIMBERLY, BULK, and SKULL take deep breaths and go under. BULK and SKULL swim out through the opening. As KIMBERLY tries, her shirt becomes caught on the panel. JASON eventually frees her, and she swims out.]

---

* INTERIOR OF DIVATOX'S SUBMARINE *

DIVATOX (looking into a scanner): What?? It's coming from the bilge!! Hmm, that would explain why Jason was yelling, "We've gotta get this panel off!" down there. (to Elgar) Release the electric eels!

ELGAR: Uh, we took those out too.

DIVATOX: Then close the emergency hatch that's there for no reason!

ELGAR: Right!

---

* BILGE OF DIVATOX'S SUBMARINE, UNDERWATER *

[Just as JASON tries to swim out, the emergency hatch slams shut in front of him, trapping him in! As he pulls back from the sealed-off exit, he looks at his bare wrist and realizes he's powerless without his malfunctioning dive computer.]

---

* INTERIOR OF DIVATOX'S SUBMARINE *

DIVATOX: Hope the drain's not clogged. (pushes a button on the control panel)

[Elsewhere in the sub, a toilet flushes.]

DIVATOX: Excellent! Now to drain the water from the bilge! (pushes another button, draining the bilge) Open the hatch to the bilge!

[A PIRANATRON delicately opens the unlocked hatch, and DIVATOX peers in to find JASON alone in the bilge.]

JASON (picking up his lost dive computer): Aha! Now that I've recovered my dive computer, I now know we're exactly... (studies the display) ...seven thousand feet above sea level. (frowns with sudden realization) Hey! (throws the dive computer back down)

DIVATOX: Well, I suppose Maligore will have to do with just one sacrifice.

ELGAR: As opposed to sending out the Piranatrons to recapture Kimberly, considering how easy it was to capture the humans in the first place...?

DIVATOX: Shut up!

---

* UPPER DECK OF GHOST GALLEON *

[TOMMY, ADAM, TANYA, and KAT stand on deck. JUSTIN is up in the crow's nest. JUSTIN sees MURANTHIAS through a pair of binoculars.]

JUSTIN: Thar she blows!

KAT: I did no such--!

JUSTIN: Land ahoy! Shiver me timbers! (peering down at the others) I always wanted to say that.

TOMMY: And we all wish you hadn't.

[JUSTIN climbs down and joins the others in the front of the boat.]

ADAM: There it is, the lost island of Muranthias.

JUSTIN: Gee, it looks just as big with the naked eye as it did in the binoc-- Hey! (throws the binoculars overboard)

ADAM: Zordon said Maligore's volcano is inside the Serpent's Temple.

TOMMY: Amazingly, that's actually the one name Zordon _didn't_ mention!

---

* INTERIOR OF DIVATOX'S SUBMARINE *

ELGAR (examining Lerigot): Your overgrown hamster ain't looking so hot.

DIVATOX: No! He must live long enough to--

ELGAR: Oh, wait, hold on. We already did this part.

DIVATOX: Oh.

[Alarms begin to go off.]

DIVATOX: Now what?

RYGOG: This is impossible! Our radar is detecting five human lifeforms approaching the island!

ELGAR: Why's that so impossible?

RYGOG: Because the radar's supposed to be broken!

JASON (wearing a black robe and being restrained by Piranatrons): I knew they wouldn't let me down, Divatox! I'm confident that the reason they came was solely to save me, not to foil your plans to rule the galaxy!

DIVATOX: I've got to get rid of those Power Rangers! And rather than turning Jason into my sinister double agent to infiltrate them from the inside, I'm going to call the one person who would have the least idea how to defeat them! (picks up telephone and presses a button on her autodial)

MASTER VILE (on phone): Hello?

DIVATOX (hanging up and pressing another button): Oops. Wrong number.

PRINCE GASKET (on phone): Hello?

DIVATOX: Oops.

IVAN OOZE (on phone): Hello?

DIVATOX: Oops.

SCORPINA (on phone): Hello?

DIVATOX: Oops.

COUNT DREGON (on phone): Hello?

DIVATOX: Oops.

GRIMLORD (on phone): Hello?

DIVATOX: Oops.

RITA (on phone): Hello?

DIVATOX: Rita! "Di" here. You have to tell me how to destroy the Power Rangers!

---

* RITA AND ZEDD'S BEDROOM *

[RITA is on the phone while in bed with a sleeping LORD ZEDD.]

RITA: I'll tell you how. Make your monster grow so that the Rangers have to fight it with their Zords. Works every time!

DIVATOX (on phone): Thanks! I'll keep that in mind!

[RITA hangs up and begins to howl with laughter.]

---

* MURANTHIAN BEACH *

[KIMBERLY lies in the sand, exhausted by her swim. As her rear dominates the foreground, a group of MALACHIANS sneaks up on KIMBERLY.]

KIMBERLY (being surrounded): No, get away! I've apparently forgotten all of the self-defense skills I learned as a Ranger!

[BULK and SKULL watch from behind nearby shrubbery as KIMBERLY gets captured.]

BULK: Strange how she is so exhausted by swim and we are fit as fiddles.

SKULL: What should we do?

BULK: Well, we could rescue her, or we could enjoy the beach and leave her to be killed or worse in the hands of the savages.

[BULK and SKULL shrug and begin to relax. Suddenly, they are confronted by more MALACHIANS. They flee into the jungle.]

---

* UPPER DECK OF GHOST GALLEON *

[The Rangers strap on their POWER BOXES.]

TOMMY (pressing random buttons on his Turbo Navigator): Guys, something's wrong. I can't get a lock on Lerigot.

TANYA: Oh well, he must be dead. Better head back home.

KAT: No, someone should drive up to that big mountain and look for the temple.

ADAM: Now that Rocky's gone, I'm the most amusing Ranger. I should go.

TOMMY: Good. We'll dawdle around for a few minutes rather than immediately following you.

[ADAM goes down below and drives the DESERT THUNDER over the water.]

---

* MURANTHIAN JUNGLE *

[The MALACHIANS chase after BULK and SKULL. One of the MALACHIANS, MALACHIAN1, trips over a root and falls to the ground.]

MALACHIAN1 (in Steve Cardenas's voice): My back!

MALACHIAN2: You just _had_ to be on the stunt crew, didn't you?

---

* MURANTHIAN BEACH *

[DESERT THUNDER drives onto the shore and enters the jungle.]

---

* INTERIOR OF DIVATOX'S SUBMARINE *

DIVATOX: They've got to be riding something! Launch the extremely slow torpedos!

ELGAR (pushing the button labeled "extremely slow torpedos" in English): Why didn't we do this sooner?

DIVATOX: Shut up!

---

* MURANTHIAN CLIFF *

[ADAM parks at the edge of the cliff and gets out.]

ADAM (looking through a set of digital binoculars): Better check for torpedos...

[ADAM spies the torpedos slowly creeping toward the galleon and gasps in horror.]

---

* UPPER DECK OF GHOST GALLEON *

TOMMY: We'd better go get inside our Turbozords just in case there are any torpedos coming our way.

[The Rangers go downstairs.]

---

* ABOVE WATER *

[The painfully slow torpedos inch their way toward the galleon. After several minutes, they bump into the hull of the ship and detonate, tearing the ship asunder and throwing flaming debris everywhere!]

---

* MURANTHIAN MOUNTAINTOP *

ADAM (unmoved): No.

[Suddenly, the TURBOZORDS drive out from the wreckage!]

TOMMY (in Red Lightning cockpit): Ha, looks like we all got through.

TANYA (in Dune Star cockpit): So what do you think, Justin?

JUSTIN (voice-over): Don't talk to me. We can't let the audience know there's a twelve-year-old driving a truck.

KAT (in Wind Chaser cockpit): But everyone already knows you're the Blue Ranger! Who else could be dr--?

TOMMY: All right, guys! Head for shore!

[Above, ADAM whoops for joy, then walks through the jungle to a different cliff, leaving the DESERT THUNDER behind. From the second cliff, he spies DIVATOX and crew walking across the grass from the water, where the special effects crew probably forgot to superimpose the submarine.]

---

* MURANTHIAN JUNGLE *

[RED LIGHTNING, WIND CHASER, and DUNE STAR drive through the jungle.]

TANYA: Hey, anyone seen Justin?

---

* MURANTHIAN JUNGLE, ELSEWHERE *

[JUSTIN stands at the rear of the parked MOUNTAIN BLASTER.]

JUSTIN (opening the tailgate): All right, everybody out!

[Gallons of seawater pour out of the back of the truck, dumping a crab, a bloated yellow fish, and a mermaid onto the sand.]

JUSTIN (slamming the tailgate shut): Sheesh! (climbs back into the truck and drives away)

---

* OUTSIDE SERPENT TEMPLE *

[DIVATOX and crew enter a clearing.]

RYGOG: Where is it? All I see is that big, ominous temple directly in front of us.

DIVATOX: Oh, stop complaining! We're almost there! Wimp.

[They are suddenly surrounded by the MALACHIANS, who have inexplicably brought KIMBERLY with them. JASON dramatically pulls back his hood and exchanges meaningful glances with KIMBERLY.]

ELGAR (to the Malachians): So, you wanna fight, huh?

DIVATOX: No no no no no! Wait! Wait! Those are the Malachians, guardians of Maligore! Even though they serve no purpose other than to recapture someone whom we should have been able to recapture in the first place, we must let them live! Bring the wizard!

ELGAR: Okay. (to Piranatrons) Release the wizard who can unlock the dimensional gateways of the universe but can't escape from a bamboo cage!

[The PIRANATRONS let LERIGOT out.]

DIVATOX (removing his mind blocker and handing him his Golden Key): Do it, wizard! Spin your magic!

[LERIGOT looks back at the caged Yara and Betelle, but rather than freeing them or teleporting the villains away, he opens the door to the Serpent Temple with another budget-munching sequence.]

DIVATOX (taking back the key): Gimme that! Ha ha ha, what a rush!

[The MALACHIANS bow in reverance to SABAN (off-camera), but DIVATOX thinks they're worshipping her.]

DIVATOX: That's it, bow to me, you little peons! Okay, move it, everybody! We've got a wedding to attend!

FINSTER (excitedly): Oh, I love weddings!

DIVATOX (punting Finster into the jungle): Hey, you're not in this movie!

FINSTER (from the jungle): Hmph! See if I let Divatox borrow any of my moon mud when she switches to another actress for the series!

---

* MURANTHIAN JUNGLE *

[ADAM meets up with the other Rangers.]

KAT: Adam, are you all right?

ADAM: Yeah, it was incredible! I did this great bunjee jumping stunt to save some mermaid stranded in the jungle!

[JUSTIN looks around innocently.]

ADAM: I can't wait to see it on film!

TOMMY: Uh, actually, the crew was filming Divatox this whole time.

ADAM: They missed it?? Aw, man!

TOMMY: Oh, speaking of Divatox, we should probably go stop her. We'll leave the vehicles here, since I'm sure we won't need them for the Zord fight later. Take out your morphers - it's time to kick into action! Shift into Turbo! It's morphin' time! Let's power up!

[The Rangers pull out their keys and pose, with JUSTIN facing the wrong way.]

TOMMY (glaring at Justin): I sure hope Rocky's feeling better.

[The Rangers simultaneously do incredibly complex arm movements which must have taken hours to rehearse. They then plug in their keys into their TURBO MORPHERS and sequentially call out their morphing phrases, which they have never been told.]

JUSTIN: Mountain Blaster Turbo Power!

ADAM: Desert Thunder Turbo Power!

TANYA: Dune Star Turbo Power!

KAT: Wind Chaser Turbo Power!

TOMMY: Red Lightning Turbo Power!

[TOMMY completes the morphing sequence with a helmet-forming shot superior to the others', proving his leadership status. The TURBO RANGERS strike dramatic poses.]

JUSTIN (looking at his currently adult-sized body): Hey, wow, just like the BeetleBorgs!

TOMMY: Hmph, BeetleBorgs. See if _they_ ever get a movie. (to Rangers) All right, let's go!

JUSTIN: Right!

KAT: Right!

JUSTIN: Whoa, all right! Hey, wait for me!

ADAM: Right!

TANYA: Right!

KAT: Right!

TOMMY: Right!

---

* INTERIOR OF SERPENT TEMPLE *

[DIVATOX and crew enter the temple.]

DIVATOX: All right, it's time to feed my future husband! Prepare the salad first!

ELGAR: We forgot the salad.

DIVATOX: Then prepare the humans!

---

* MURANTHIAN JUNGLE *

[The Rangers bolt through the jungle at high speed.]

ADAM: Sure beats walking!

TOMMY: You can say that again!

ADAM: Sure beats walking!

[The Rangers do unnecessary flips over a log.]

---

* MURANTHIAN JUNGLE, ELSEWHERE *

[The Rangers walk through the misty jungle as chants of "Maligore" are heard in the background.]

TOMMY: Hear that? We're close. Keep your eyes open.

[JUSTIN stops.]

JUSTIN: Wait, I have an idea! Maybe we should _listen_ instead! (listens, then looks down a side path) Aha, the sound's coming from that way!

[The others go back to where JUSTIN is.]

TOMMY: Good job, Justin!

JUSTIN (hurrying along the side path): Wow! This is fun! Follow me, guys! I'll lead the way!

ADAM: Justin, no! This strange path is much more dangerous than our first strange path!

[The Rangers come to a clearing, where they find a large temple. A huge stone door opens, causing the ground to shake. A large pyramid emerges from inside the temple, a glowing golden insignia of the NINJAZORDS on it.]

TOMMY: You dolt! This is the Phaedos set!

[The Rangers back up and continue on their original path. They soon come upon a rear entrance to the Serpent Temple.]

---

* INTERIOR OF SERPENT TEMPLE *

[KIMBERLY and JASON dangle over a pit of lava in the center of the forboding temple.]

DIVATOX: Maligore, great flame of destruction, I bring you two perfect specimins to seal our matrimonial pact! Awake and feed upon their purity!

KIMBERLY: But I--

JASON: Shh!

---

* CAVERN, NEARBY *

[The Rangers stand poised at the entrance to the Serpent Temple, ready to burst in.]

TOMMY: Okay, guys, this is it. Move out on the count of three. (waits for a moment) Three!

---

* INTERIOR OF SERPENT TEMPLE *

[The TURBO RANGERS rush in, shoving aside all the extras who get in their way.]

DIVATOX: Hey!! If I'd known there was an open entrance _that_ way I wouldn't have bothered with getting the front door open!

TOMMY: Let them go, Divatox!

DIVATOX: Okay.

[DIVATOX flips a lever, and KIMBERLY and JASON plummet into the lava pit.]

TOMMY: That's not what I meant!

[A huge explosion erupts from the lava pit, flinging several extras into the air. KIMBERLY and JASON appear on the ledge of the lava pit, now with red contacts and dubbed voices. They break free from their plastic handcuffs and attack the Rangers!]

JUSTIN (being attacked by Jason): You wouldn't want to hurt the replacement of your replacement, would you?

[JASON punts JUSTIN, sending him flying through the air. Nearby, KIMBERLY attacks KAT.]

TOMMY (rushing onto the scene): Hey, katfight! (shakes his head) Uh, I mean, stop! (removes his helmet) Look at me, Kim! Look at me! It's me, Tommy. The guy you cruelly dumped with a letter.

KAT (butting in): We're your friends!

KIMBERLY: Hey, this was supposed to be our touching scene, and you just ruined the moment! (side-kicks Kat, sending her crashing to the ground) Pink is out.

KAT: But you're wearing--!

KIMBERLY: Shut up!

[JASON grabs TOMMY from behind, causing TOMMY to drop his helmet. JASON kicks TOMMY toward the lava pit.]

JASON (growling): You're mine, Ranger!

TOMMY: No... I don't want to hurt you.

[JASON punches TOMMY repeatedly until TOMMY falls onto the ledge of the lava pit.]

TOMMY: Okay, I guess that's not gonna be a problem...

[JASON crouches over TOMMY, choking the RED RANGER.]

JASON: Now I'm the one with the muscles and the power!

TOMMY: Dude, that's the steroids talking!

KIMBERLY: Into the fire... into the fire...

[Nearby, LERIGOT and YARA eat up more of the budget by purifying KIMBERLY's mind.]

TOMMY (still being strangled on the edge of the lava pit): Man, I'm usually the one under an evil spell pounding the snot out of Jason! What would _he_ do in my position? (thinks) Of course! (punts Jason into the lava pit, but Jason catches his hand at the last second) Hey, leggo! Oh, wait... no, _don't_ let go!

KIMBERLY: Tommy, hang on! (rushes to help him)

TOMMY: Come on, Jason! Don't fight me! You've got to remember all the good. Come on!

JASON: No!!

TOMMY: No!!

JASON: No!!

TOMMY: No!!

[KIMBERLY finally joins TOMMY at the edge of the lava pit.]

TOMMY: Kim?

KIMBERLY: Sorry, I got distracted.

[Nearby, the Rangers are playing tic tac toe in the sand.]

ADAM (looking up): Hey, you think we should help them?

TANYA: I'm sure everything's fine.

[Suddenly, TOMMY, KIMBERLY, and JASON get blown away from the lava pit by a large explosion. Afterward, TOMMY and KIMBERLY gaze lovingly into each other's eyes.]

KAT (handing Tommy his helmet): I think you're gonna need this.

TOMMY (frustrated): Jeeze, Kat, you have the worst timing.

KIMBERLY: I think she's doing it on purpose.

[The other Rangers join them, and PIRANATRONS wait patiently for them to regroup.]

KIMBERLY: I'll get the Liarians.

TOMMY: Right. (to Piranatrons) Okay, we're ready.

[The PIRANATRONS suddenly attack the Rangers.]

RYGOG (watching Kimberly lead the Liarians to the doorway): The humans are turning pure again!

ELGAR: Now we don't have a sacrifice, other than the Liarians or the Power Rangers! Or, we could also throw the humans back in.

DIVATOX: No, I'd rather throw you, the epitome of impurity, in instead.

ELGAR: Oh, okay. (does a front flip into the pit)

DIVATOX (to Rygog): Remind me we need him for the sentai footage.

JASON (wandering aimlessly through the temple on the verge of tears): I left my dive computer back in the sub...

[Nearby, KIMBERLY is rushed by two PIRANATRONS.]

KIMBERLY (in a cutesie voice): Uh oh!

[LERIGOT and YARA, realizing they were a bit too liberal with the happy dust for KIMBERLY, give JASON a slightly lower dosage, purifying his mind. JASON then rescues KIMBERLY from the clutches of a PIRANATRON.]

KIMBERLY (still in a cutesie voice): Why thank you.

[The Rangers' fight with the PIRANATRONS is interrupted when MALIGORE emerges from the lava pit and roars menacingly at the Rangers.]

KAT: She wants to marry _him_?

DIVATOX (looking at Kat and Tommy): She wants to marry _him_?

RYGOG (to Divatox): You sure about this?

DIVATOX: Yeah, sure. I figure we'll spend maybe half a season hating each other, then we'll get used to each other and become everyone's favorite couple. It worked for Zedd and Rita! (looking down) Of course, this guy isn't particularly articulate, so that cuts down on the witty banter...

JUSTIN: I think it's time to break out the hardware we've never been told about!

TOMMY: Good call, Justin! Let's do it!

[The Rangers summon their POWER WEAPONS in a sparkling flash of special effects.]

TOMMY: Turbo Lightning Sword!

JUSTIN: Turbo Hand Blasters!

KAT: Turbo Wind Fire!

ADAM: Turbo Thunder Cannon!

TANYA: Turbo Star Chargers!

TOMMY: I thought the toy package called them "Charges" instead of "Chargers."

TANYA: Yeah, well the package also showed the Turbo Thunder Cannon held the other way!

[ADAM looks down at his cannon and shrugs.]

RYGOG (to Divatox): The Rangers are about to fire their weapons at Maligore. Now would be a good time to walk over to him and get caught in the crossfire.

DIVATOX: You're right. (walks over to Maligore and reaches out to shake his hand, then looks back at Rygog) Hey!

[DIVATOX blinks, shrugs, then shakes MALIGORE's hand, electrocuting herself.]

DIVATOX (storming off after pulling her hand away): Fine, then! It's getting so you can't manipulate a guy's love in order to use his power for yourself anymore!

[The PIRANATRONS and MALACHIANS begin to flee the temple.]

TOMMY: Fire!

KAT: Wait, if your sword and Tanya's big smashy thingies can shoot energy, what's the use of Justin, Adam, and me having weapons that do nothing but shoot?

TOMMY: Fire!

[The Rangers all fire their weapons at MALIGORE. An enormous blast of energy fires from the end of ADAM's cannon which is pointing the other way, propelling ADAM face-first into MALIGORE.]

ADAM: My back!

TOMMY: Adam, get up, you wuss!

[MALIGORE stomps menacingly near ADAM.]

ADAM (to Maligore): Hey, your bride's leaving...

[MALIGORE looks as DIVATOX pulls RYGOG away from the temple. ADAM joins the others.]

ADAM: Made ya look!

TANYA: Wait, Adam, that's only appropriate if what you told him wasn't true, but she really _was_ running away.

TOMMY: Nevermind that now! We've got to lure Maligore outside so we can use our Zords on him!

KAT: Wouldn't that be an escalation of battle?

TOMMY: Let's do it!

[The Rangers run out the back exit, and KIMBERLY and JASON take the LIARIANS out the other exit.]

---

* EXTERIOR OF SERPENT TEMPLE *

[As MALIGORE breaks out through the styrofoam wall of the temple, the Rangers drive up in their TURBOZORDS, forgetting that they left the Zords on the other side of the island. MALIGORE, sensing a Zord fight coming up, grows to the exact size of a Megazord.]

TOMMY: Magic wand, make my automobile grow!

[The TURBOZORDS grow to enormous size.]

TOMMY: Shift into CGI!

[Ugly model TURBOZORDS appear.]

TOMMY: What the hell?

KAT: Lerigot used up the special effects budget.

ADAM: Oh well, the Zords in the first movie sucked anyway.

TOMMY: Initiate Turbo Megazord docking sequence!

[The model TURBOZORDS smash together in a five-car pile-up, forming the TURBO MEGAZORD. Jet propulsion lifts the robot to its feet, at which point a jump cut transforms the model MEGAZORD into a stunt guy in a MEGAZORD suit!]

RANGERS: Megazord, Turbocharged!

JUSTIN: Wow, we all said the exact same thing without being told what to say, Tommy! It's like we read your mind!

TOMMY: Yeah, that's one of the Ranger gimmicks.

JUSTIN: Lemme try something. I'm thinking of a number betw--

[MALIGORE slashes the MEGAZORD's chest, causing an explosion of sparks to erupt from the MEGAZORD.]

KAT: That was close!

ADAM: That wasn't close! He _hit_ us!

[MALIGORE and the MEGAZORD exchange blows monotonously, sparks repeatedly erupting from both combatants. MALIGORE, realizing a Megazord fight just isn't a Megazord fight without cheezy monster attacks, blows flames from a nozzle in his palm. Eventually, TOMMY pushes a random button on the control panel, summoning the MEGAZORD's sword and shield.]

TOMMY (to Kat): Ready to fly?

KAT: I'm not sure what that means, but I'd like to remind you that this movie is rated PG.

TOMMY: The jets! Activate the jets!

[The MEGAZORD leans forward as flame spews from its feet, sending it careening toward MALIGORE. With one massively unimpressive swipe, the MEGAZORD delivers the finishing blow to MALIGORE. Confused by the weakness of the Megazord battle, MALIGORE flings himself off a cliff. Suddenly a flaming comet streaks down from the sky and obliterates him!]

RYGOG: The volcano! It's erupting!

DIVATOX: Ugh, my plans!! The money, the jewels, the breast reduction surgery! (calms down) Oh well, at least I didn't get a honeymoon!

RYGOG: I thought you'd be upset about not getting a honeymoon.

DIVATOX: Hardly! Didn't you see that freak? Who would've want a honeymoon with him? (frowns) But other than that, I'm still ticked at those Rangers!

RYGOG: Enough to seek revenge for an entire season?

DIVATOX (sighing): Eh, not really. Gimme something else to seek revenge for.

RYGOG: Well, they drowned your Putrapods.

DIVATOX (shouting angrily): Yeah!! (to the Megazord) I'll be back, Rangers! I may be played by a different actress, but I'll be back!

[DIVATOX and RYGOG run away. Nearby, KIMBERLY, JASON, BULK, SKULL, and the LIARIANS wave at the MEGAZORD. The MEGAZORD bends down and holds out its hand sideways. Once the Rangers' friends get inside the hand, the MEGAZORD makes a fist, nearly crushing the life from all seven of them.]

---

* MARTIAL ARTS ARENA *

ANNOUNCER: Here they are, all the way from Stone Canyon, ready to win that novelty check already made out to the Angel Grove team - it's Stunt Man Number One, Stunt Man Number Two, and Stunt Man Number Three!

[ERNIE begins to shout and whoop for the Stone Canyon team. KIMBERLY, KAT, TANYA, and JUSTIN, seated beside him in the stands, look at him quizzically.]

ERNIE (to the Rangers): Hey, cut me some slack here. If Stone Canyon wins, then Lt. Stone's agreed to have the fuzz "overlook" my underground baby food smuggling ring.

TANYA: What if Angel Grove wins?

ERNIE: Well, I bet him the Juice Bar. But don't worry - Angel Grove doesn't stand a chance with only two competitors! There's no way I can lose!

ANNOUNCER: And now, our boys from Angel Grove - Tommy Oliver, Adam Park, and last-minute replacement Jason Lee!

ERNIE: What??!

[As TOMMY, ADAM, and JASON mercilessly beat the snot out of the Stone Canyon team, ROCKY cheers from the sidelines. TOMMY, ADAM, and JASON continue their bloodbath until the three teens from Stone Canyon stop moving. The bell rings - the fight is over. TOMMY, ADAM, and JASON wait in suspense, as if they don't know who will be declared the winner.]

ANNOUNCER: And the winner of the $25,000 national championship is... the team from Angel Grove!

[The crowd erupts into screams of joy. KIMBERLY, KAT, TANYA, and JUSTIN rush to the ring to congratulate the winners. ERNIE is nowhere to be seen.]

KIMBERLY: Yeah!! Way to go, you guys!

[TOMMY reaches down through the ropes and gives KAT an enormous hug.]

TOMMY: Well, it looks like the shelter's not closing down any time soon.

KAT: Yeah. I'm sure glad _our_ orphans got the money instead of Stone Canyon's. Oh, speaking of orphans... (hands Justin to Tommy)

[TOMMY puts JUSTIN on his shoulders. But because the fight was so exhausting, TOMMY loses his balance and sends JUSTIN flying out of the ring. JUSTIN smashes against the floor below.]

JUSTIN: My back!

[The end.]


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